Can a Childless Older Woman Marry a Non-Muslim Man?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
If a woman is past her childbearing years and has never been married, what is the permissibility of marrying a non-Muslim man? I have tried to marry a Muslim man for fifteen years and have been mistreated or unappealing to them.
Now I’ve finally met someone who would like to marry me and treats my family and me well. He won’t convert and is not from the people of the book. I wanted nothing more than to be a mother and wife, and I have reached my forties alone.
Am I expected to live lonely for another 40 years when we live in non-Muslim countries with limited Muslim men, or is there a dispensation in any madhhab for older women?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your patience, and may He bless you with the best for you in this world, with a plentiful reward in the next.
Marriage
Although it may seem logical to you that you should be allowed to marry a non-Muslims because you are in your forties, that is not the case. It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man at all, and children are not necessarily the only reason for that. This has been decreed out of Allah’s wisdom, knowledge, and understanding of how He created us and what is best for us. I can guarantee that being married to a non-Muslim would cause numerous challenges; dilemmas would arise, priorities would not match, and retiring together would not be easy.
Please see the ruling here:
Can a Muslim Woman Marry a Non-Muslim Man?
Can I Marry a Non-Muslim Man Who Loves Me Deeply?
Conversion
Instead, the conversation should be based on him converting. If he loves you so much, why not convert to Islam? Believing in one God and believing Muhammad was the last Messenger of God is very easy to believe, especially when one reads about his life and works. Ask your suitor to read this article written by a non-Muslim white separatist who claims that Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) was the top most influential man in history:
Most Influential Person in History by Michael H. Hart
New to Islam Reader: A Trusted Collection of Resources for Converts
Loneliness
I encourage you to fight off your loneliness by making the Quran your best friend. Engage in circles of knowledge and dhikr. Befriend religious people who bring out the best in you. Exercise daily and take care of your health. Don’t give up on marrying a Muslim if your suitor walks away. Trust that Allah is the best of planners. Supplicate for what is best for you, and remember that even if you don’t marry in this world, a husband is guaranteed for you in Paradise – for all eternity, by His grace.
Please see these links as well:
How Can I Overcome Loneliness and Make Friends?
How Do I Manage My Reserved Personality, Loneliness, and Negative Thoughts?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
