Can I Move Out Due to My Mother’s Emotional and Physical Abuse?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I’m a 27-year-old divorcee & my mother abuses me, physically & emotionally, to the point of me attempting suicide many times & having low faith. I don’t practice Islam because of her. She curses at me & makes much dua against me & is very easily angered. She has put me through much pain & manipulation (forcing me to get married, I’m divorced now, hitting me, etc.).

I am mentally messed up due to this. I do my best to obey her & please her, but she says she can say & do whatever she wants because she’s a mother. She takes advantage of it. Is it haram to move out, despite her duas against me? Are her rights over me as a daughter voided? I have tried everything, including an intervention, but to no avail.

Answer

May Allah give you relief from your pain and suffering, and may you find a better situation for yourself, as you have a right to be treated well.

Moving Out

You are permitted to move out without her permission, mainly because you seek safety and protection from her abuse. She has no right to keep you at home, and healing from your trauma is the first step to getting your mental state back together. To heal, you must leave.

Please see these details about moving out:
As a Woman, Can I Move Out of My Abusive Mother’s Home?
Can I Move Out To Heal From the Trauma of My Abusive Parents?
Can I Live on My Own as a Woman?
My Parents Emotionally and Physically Abuse Me. Can You Help Me?

Turn to Allah

I am deeply saddened that you have chosen not to practice Islam due to your mother’s behavior. Your mother’s actions have nothing to do with what the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) taught us. He embodied justice, gentleness, modesty, manliness, strength, peace, surrender, and piety. Please read a little about his life and discover for yourself the perfection of this religion and how it’s a solution for all mankind.

Please see these links as well:
Chaos in My Life
Why Is Everything Going Wrong in My Life?
How to Strengthen Faith in Allah and Return to Him? A Reader

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani 

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.