Does Allah Punish the One Who Cheats on His Fiance and Breaks Their Engagement?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I was in a relationship, and the guy who promised to marry me said first he’d earn a good income. But when he got a job, he cheated on me. When I asked him, he denied it and said he was loyal to me and would marry me when the time comes.
Recently I told him that I stayed with him even when he cheated, but still, he is hurting me. He can kindly block me if he is not interested in marrying me. He said if I stay with him, it would be my problem, not his problem. I will try my best to leave him for the sake of Allah, but will Allah not punish him for hurting me and treating me poorly? Will my tears go in vain?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your patience and for putting him with this man, but you must leave him if you don’t want a lifetime of issues.
Marriage
Choosing a spouse is a big decision, and I urge you to pray istikhara when choosing one and to follow the advice of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), who said, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!” [Bukhari; Muslim]
This advice applies to both genders. Ask yourself if you chose him because he was good for your religion and that he would have made an excellent father, role model, and teacher for your children or if it was for another reason. Leave him and don’t choose the next man for the wrong reasons.
Punishment
As for consequences, there certainly is punishment in Islam for cheating, lying, and so forth. But leave that between him and Allah and remember that Allah Most High says in His book, “Indeed, Allah defends those who believe. Surely Allah does not like whoever is deceitful, ungrateful.” [Quran, 22:38]
Allah sees all and will take us all to account for every single thing that we do. Allah Most High says in His book, “On that Day people will proceed in separate groups to be shown (the consequences of) their deeds. So whoever does an atom’s weight of good will see it. And whoever does an atom’s weight of evil will see it.” [Quran, 99:6]
Instead of focusing your revenge and hatred on him, remember that everything comes from Allah, and hope for him from Allah what you hope for yourself on that fateful day. Give yourself time to forgive and forget about him. Strive for high character and take the Prophet’s treatment (Allah bless him and give him peace) of others as your example.
Please see these links as well:
- How Do I Get Rid of Bad Feelings Toward Someone?
- How Can I Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt Me for a Long Period of Time?
- How Do I Deal With Others’ Betrayal of Me?
- How to Deal with a Heartbreak and Betrayal in a Relationship?
- My Fiancée Broke off Our Engagement. What Do I Do to Move On?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
