How Can I Deal with the Sadness over a Close Friend Engaging in Sin?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
How can I deal with sadness and anxiety over a close friend engaging in sinful behaviour despite my advice?
Answer
Thank you for your question. Your feeling of sadness and concern for a friend is a sign that your friendship is for the sake of Allah, and I ask you to place your trust in Allah Most High as He guides whomever He wills.
Guidance
Allah Most High has told us in the Quran,
“You surely cannot guide whomever you like, but it is Allah Who guides whomever He wills, and He knows best who are ˹fit to be˺ guided. [Quran, 28:56]
Rest assured that you can pray, advise gently, and remind, but ultimately, the power to change her is in Allah’s hands, and you must fully trust Him.
Advise Gently
Keep reminding your friend gently and kindly every so often, citing the wisdom behind stopping the sin.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“None of you (truly) believes until he loves for his brother that which he loves for himself. [Bukhari; Muslim]
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness, and He grants reward for it that He does not grant for harshness.” [Ibn Maja]
Dua
Ask Allah to guide their heart to the straight path and forgive them, especially at tahajjud time. Pray the Prayer of Need. Use the following prophetic supplications:
اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْهُ هَادِيًا مَهْدِيًّا وَاهْدِ بِهِ
“O Allah, make him a guiding one, and guide (others) by him.” [Tirmidhi]
حَسْبِـيَ اللّهُ لا إلهَ إلاّ هُوَ عَلَـيهِ تَوَكَّـلتُ وَهُوَ رَبُّ العَرْشِ العَظـيم
“Allah is sufficient for me. There is none worthy of worship but Him. I have placed my trust in Him, He is Lord of the Majestic Throne.”
Please see more details here:
- How Can I Help Non-Practising Family and Friends?
- Can I Stay Friends with People Who Curse, Backbite, and Sin?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied ‘aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
