Is It Backbiting to Tell Your Friend That Your Teacher Is Unfair?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I think my teacher hates me and he always asks other students if they need help, except me. Is it considered backbiting if you tell your friend about how the teacher ignores you?

Answer

Thank you for your question. Yes, it is backbiting to tell your friend this, unless you are seeking help and counsel from your friend and plan to take action.

Venting

Just venting or using her as a should to cry can be sinful. Instead, ask your friend for practical advice, speak to a superior, an advisor, or the principal, speak directly to the teacher himself, or just ask for help instead of waiting to be asked.

Exercise patience and remember this important hadith:

“The believer who mixes with people and bears their annoyance with patience will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and does not put up with their annoyance.” [Ibn Majah]

Teacher-student Relationship

Also please review the rules of etiquette toward teachers below and recall the status of the teacher and student in Islam, it is a relationship worth valuing:

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us,  “Lo! Indeed the world is cursed and what is in it is cursed, except for the remembrance of Allah; what is conducive to that, the teacher and the student.” [Tirmidhi]

See: Etiquettes Towards One’s Teachers

Please see these links as well:

• What Constitutes Slander, Backbiting and How to Avoid It?
• Fiqh of Life: The Everyday Halal and Haram
• The Sunna of Speech: Prohibitions of the Tongue
• Backbiting (Ghiba) and Seeking Counsel
• What To Do When you Hear Slander and Backbiting
• How To Repent From Gossiping
• A Reader on Tawba—Repentance

Course: Upright Speech Birgivi on Holding One’s Tongue

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.