Should I Move Closer to My Wife So I Don’t Have to Wait Six Months for Her to Finish Her Studies?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I am 21 years old and got married about six months ago. My father died about a year and a half ago, and I live with my mother. I am a freelance web developer and earn well. My wife is a hafiza of the Quran and needs six months more to complete her madrasa, which is quite far from my home. It is hard for me to stay away from her. So I am considering renting a place near her madrasa so we can be together while she studies. However, that is expensive, and I fear if one month doesn’t go well, I might not be able to cover my expenses because my earnings are not fixed. Should I go there and rely on Allah? Should I wait even when it is hard and painful for me?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I understand that you are in pain and that waiting for your wife to finish seems like an eternity. I encourage you to be patient.
Expenses
Part of being the new leader of your family is that you should use wisdom to make the right decisions. I understand that she is far and that it is hard for you as a newlywed, but I feel that if you make the wrong financial decision, you might get pulled under. Instead, I urge you to visit her when you can and even bring her to your house for a long weekend or short holiday. Spend the next six months saving enough to provide well for her and your mother.
Patience
You will need much patience to get through this time and enough strength to get through this without turning to the haram. Remember that it is permissible for you to call her or video call her. Some of the things that you can include to busy yourself with goodness are: taking a course on Islamic Marriage to know what is necessary for marriage, or any other course to gain Islam knowledge, exercising to get in better shape, spending time with pious friends whose company you enjoy, spend more time in the mosque, fast more often. And keep this prophetic hadith in mind:
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Take advantage of five before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your illness, your riches before your poverty, your free time before your work, and your life before your death.” [Albani]
Turn to Allah
Turn to Allah wholeheartedly and ask of Him in this difficult time. Ask Him to facilitate your affairs for you, and know that Allah is your sufficiency and any help that you seek through Him, will be easy.
Please see these links as well:
Desires while waiting for marriage
Having to Wait for Nikah
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
