Can I Spy on My Husband?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam aleykum,

If you suspect that your husband is unfaithful, do you have the right to collect information behind his back if you are debating to stay with him?

Answer: Assalamualayakum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.


“Do not spy.” (Qur’an, 49:12)

Abu Hurairah reported the Messenger of Allah (May peace be upon him) as saying: “Avoid suspicion for suspicion is the most lying form of talk. Do not be inquisitive about one another, or spy on one another.” [Sunan Abi Dawud]

Dear sister, I am sorry that you are facing this tribulation in your marriage. Suspecting that your husband is unfaithful to you is a very heavy burden to bear. I don’t know the history of your marriage, how or why you suspect his infidelity, but you have done something courageous by seeking guidance.

The Qur’an and the Hadith are clear on this – spying on your husband is impermissible, and so is collecting evidence against him.


The Shari’ah is there to preserve the following 5 necessities:

1) Religion
2) Life
3) Intellect
4) Lineage
5) Wealth

I encourage you to read What is the Shariah? A Path to God, a Path to Good – Faraz Rabbani.

The institution of marriage is sacred. Instead of spying on your husband to confirm your suspicions, I encourage you to brainstorm other avenues with the intention of saving your marriage. If you feel that your marriage is not worth saving, then take permissible steps to end it.


I encourage you and your husband to sit down with a culturally-sensitive counsellor or psychologist. It sounds like you both need an objective professional who can help you both air out your concerns, in a safe and confidential space.

Please do not repeat what is shared in this space to your close friends or family members. Unless they are qualified to help, sharing confidential information about your husband would be considered backbiting. Even if you have a close friend, sibling, parent or relative who is a trained counsellor, it is best not to speak to them because their love for you would immediately bias them against your husband.


Please perform The Prayer of Need in the last third of the night, even if it is 5 or 10 minutes before the entry of Fajr. When your pleas to creation fall on deaf ears, remember that the Creator is always there for you.


Please do everything in your power to save your marriage.

After exerting your utmost, if you feel that this marriage is something harmful for your deen and dunya, then perform the Prayer of Guidance about ending your marriage. Watch what Allah unfolds for you. If your husband continues to resist any attempts at honesty and repairing your marriage, then that is your sign to leave. If your husband softens his stance, admits to wrongdoing and wishes to start anew, then that is your sign to stay.

May Allah make this easier for you, and make this a means of attaining closeness to Him.

Please see:

Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
Discussing Intimate Details in Therapy Sessions.
12 Awesome Marriage Resources That Aren’t Books

[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersGuidance Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.