Can You Help Me Get Over My Paranoia That My Kids Will Be Harmed?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I have severe anxiety that my toxic in-laws will hurt my children. I fear losing control and something bad happening to them. Is my fear valid or am I low in iman?

I know children are a responsibility according to Allah and that no one can harm them without His will, but I can’t control my mind. Please suggest what I should do and any dua to help my situation.

Answer

Thank you for your question. You should not fear that something will happen to your children unless you have clear signs of suspicion about a specific person. It sounds like paranoia and anxiety, and I urge you to take steps to solve them, such as therapy, dua, and increasing Islamic knowledge and practice.

Tips

• Pray with your children and husband in a congregation daily and take them to the mosque more often;
• Teach your children their daily duas and say them aloud yourself so they get used to saying them (dua for leaving & entering the house, entering & leaving the bathroom, driving a car, Ayat al-Kursi and three Quls before bed, morning & evening adhkar)
• Eliminate the haram from your life, such as usury, impermissible or doubtful foods, backbiting, lying, not covering correctly, etc.

Dua

Recite this comprehensive dua from the Quran:

رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِي فِي ذُرِّيَّتِي ۖ إِنِّي تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِين

“My Lord! Inspire me to always be thankful for Your favours which You blessed me and my parents with, and to do good deeds that please You. And instill righteousness in my offspring. I truly repent to You, and I truly submit to Your Will.” [Quran, 46:15]

Please see these links for tips on beating your anxiety and recite this encompassing dua of the parent :

• Beautiful All-Encompassing Dua to Benefit Your Children
• The Reality and Etiquettes of Supplication: A Reader
• Is There a Dua Protecting Children from Bad Intentions of People?
• How Do I Calm My Worries?
• I Suffer From severe Anxiety. What Can I Do to Stay Mentally Well?
• Dealing With Depression: Abu Zaid Balkhi

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.