How Can I Avoid Falling In Love?

Question: I am a growing child, and I have never fallen in love with anybody, but as I am growing, teenage thoughts and desires keep coming into my head. I read ”Astaghfar” and continue to resist, but the thoughts and the desires are too strong. I have fallen in love with a Christian boy and I don’t know how to escape love, I have told myself not to fall in love but the feelings are always growing deeper.
Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,Thank you for your question. What you are feeling is very normal and natural. Allah created man and woman to have temptation toward each other, but He put limits on it so that it results in beautiful matrimony that grows with love, piety, and children.

 

Gender Interaction

Do not blame yourself for these thoughts, they are not your fault. But, now that you have recognized them, I want you to work hard to ignore them and say “A’udhu biLlahi min ash-Shaytan ir-rajeem“ when they arise. It is the job of the Devil to take the little flicker of emotion that you have, and pour gas on it so that you gaze, touch, talk, hang out, and eventually fall into sin.  Please see the rules of gender interaction here:

 

Reality

Because you mention that the boy is Christian, you know that you could never marry him, as this is not valid or halal. Please turn to Allah with dhikr and du’a every time that thought arises and the Devil will tire of you because his inciting you to evil only ends up in remembrance of Allah. The best thing for you is to get your mind off of him as quickly as possible. Ask Allah to help you.

 

Focus

At your young age, instead focus on learning your religion here at Seekers with free courses on obligatory fiqh, seerah, Arabic, and the halal and the haram. Focus on school, and focus on learning useful and beneficial hobbies, sports, or activities that can whip your body and mind into good shape. Anytime, you feel stressed or desires creep up, you have something permissible to turn to.

I also encourage you to spend time with good, positive religious sisters. They can point you in the right direction, remind you of the right things, and be there for you as friends that take your mind off of men. Also diminish your time on the screen, for this always has a way of conjuring up desires in young people. May Allah give you every good and reward you for your sincerity in this world and the next.

[Ustadh] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.