How to Choose Between Getting Married and Supporting One’s Parents?

Hanafi Fiqh

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam
Question: My friend is in great confusion regarding his marriage. He wishes to marry a girl, but his family refuses – on the basis of financial demands that they want him to fulfill first, i.e larger house, more expensive car, send your parents to perform Hajj etc.
What must he do? For he does not seek displeasure of his family neither does he want her to get married to someone else.
Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.
He is not obligated to pay for the Hajj of his parents. If they cannot afford it, it is not obligatory upon them.
However, it could be sinful to marry without parental approval. He should pray the Prayer of Need (salat al-hajah) [see: How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)?] imploring Allah to open a way for him. [see: Struggling to Have Children: Ten Key Etiquettes of Du’a]
Allah Most High says, “And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will grant them a way out, and will provide for them in ways unimagined. And whoever places their trust in Allah, then Allah is their sufficiency. Allah’s affair will surely come to pass–and Allah has made a clear decree for everything.” [65.2-3]
Ibn `Ata’illah said, “Nothing you seek relying on your Lord will ever be difficult, and nothing you seek relying on yourself will ever be easy.” [see: A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah]
As for obedience to parents, please see: Do I Have to Marry Someone Within My Caste to Please My Family?
I’d advise also taking this class: Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life
And Allah alone gives success.
Tabraze Azam
Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani