Longing to Marry Someone I Had a Physical Relationship With

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

Question: I am a teenager and I had a physical relationship with a brother. We want to get married as soon as we are old enough but we got caught by parents. Now our families hate each other and the guy has been sent away. I can’t even think about being with anyone else. Is there any dua i can read or do anything for us to be together again, and for our families to accept our relationship?

Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful

Dear Sister,

Thank you for your question. I pray this message finds you well.

As difficult as it is to accept, you are better off without this person in your life. A man who truly values a woman will marry her before having a physical relationship with her. A soulmate is supposed to lead you to Allah, not entice you to commit sin. It would not be appropriate to ask Allah to bring someone back into your life who encouraged you to commit a major sin. Instead, you should thank Allah this person has been removed from your life. You should focus on repenting to Allah and reevaluating your life. You’re only a teenager and have many years, God willing, in store. Why weigh yourself down with a toxic relationship? You should move on with your life and let him move on with his. If he had wanted to do right by you, he would have married you. Period. Trust me, he will recover from this; men almost always do. You, on the other hand, might have a longer road to travel, hence my insistence on repentance and getting things right with God.

May Allah Ta’ala give you healing from this,

Zaynab Ansari