Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I am a mother of five children. I have two daughters, one that is married to a Christian and the other living with her Christian boyfriend. I have taught them both to practice Islam and informed them of what is haram. They used to pray and show interest when they were with me. They no longer do. When I speak of Islam they go quiet. What should I do as a mother? How am I to act with them when they come to my house?
Thank you for your follow-up question. I am sorry that your daughters are transgressing against themselves, but you should continue to be their mother while setting some boundaries.
As both of your daughters are living in fornication, you should not allow their men to come to your house. They must understand that Allah’s rules are not a joke, and enormities will be taken seriously under your roof. Tell them that you still love them but that Allah and His Messenger come first. Tell them that the men are not mahram to you anyway, so you would have no reason to have them over unless they convert. Try to give them some books on Islam or a mushaf, perhaps it will open their hearts.
Some other steps that you might take are:
-Bond with your daughters and nurture your relationship with them. Meet them in a coffee shop or elsewhere and be a constant Muslim figure in their life.
-Encourage them to teach their partners about Islam so that their marriages can be valid. If they really love your daughters, why not convert? Islam only asks people to believe in one God and believe that Muhammad is the final Messenger. They can learn to practice Islam with time. See this link:
-Pray that they see the light of prophetic guidance and supplicate for them before dawn with the Prayer of Need. See this link:
-Encourage your daughters to pray five times a day, for a person who prays will have goodness spread to all other parts of their life and it will eventually diminish the bad.
-Be grateful to Allah that your daughters go silent when you talk about Islam. This shows me that they love you, respect you, and know that they are wrong, and don’t want to argue. This is good character and is part of goodness to parents.
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.