Why Did Allah Make Me Fall in Love with Someone I Wasn’t Meant to Be With?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I loved someone very truly, I started to pray tahajjud for him. Yet after a year, I fell in love with someone else. That the decision was not in my control and I believe that Allah’s plan is the best. Why did Allah have to bring the first man in my life if we were not soulmates?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I pray that you find the perfect husband for you and that you trust Allah’s plan and derive lessons from your past.
Love
Although it is frustrating and hurtful, the first man was not meant for you, and it was not the best thing for you. We never know if what you love is good for you or bad for you, as Allah has told us in His book, “Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows while you know not.“ [Quran, 2:216] And the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us, “Your love for a thing causes blindness and deafness.“ [Abu Dawud]
Why
This is not the right question to ask. Allah’s plan is perfect, and there may be several reasons that He willed for this to happen. If a servant makes a decision to fall in love or to commit some sin, that blame is on him, not on Allah Most High. So, instead, please take some time to ask yourself why you were so fixated on marrying this person for a year when it would have been better to remain emotionally unattached and pray istikhara on whether he was right for you in the first place.
Move on
Moving forward, please derive lessons from your unrequited love and use them to draw closer to Allah. Continue to pray tahajjud out of gratitude for your blessings, and use prayer, dhikr, and Quran, and help others as a means to get over this young man. Be avid for what benefits you now, such as preparing for marriage, taking courses, honing your domestic skill set and serving your parents while you are still with them.
Please see these links on freedom of choice and the podcast series below:
How to Get Over Unrequited Love?
Do We Have Choice? And Does Allah Prevent That Choice from Being Realized?
Why? Sincere Questions, Sincere Answers
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
