Can Family Pressure Excuse a New Muslim From Religious Obligations?

Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch

Question

I recently embraced Islam, but still live with my parents, who would force me to commit shirk if they learned about my faith. Because the house is small and they are extremely strict, I cannot pray without being discovered, nor can I fast Ramadan or attend Jumu‘a. What should I do in this situation?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

May Allah grant you ease, lighten your burden, and reward you for these challenges that you are facing.

Your situation is akin to that of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and many of the Companions, both male and female.

Allah Most High speaks about this in the Quran:

“But if they pressure you to associate with Me (shirk) what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them. Still keep their company in this world courteously, and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in devotion). Then to Me you will (all) return, and then I will inform you of what you used to do.” [Quran; 31:15]

Allah’s Acknowledgment of this Hardship

There were some companions (Allah be pleased with them) who were tortured and compelled to say statements of disbelief, and to protect themselves from future torment, they complied.

Among these was the great companion, ‘Ammar bin Yasir. The polytheists seized him, his father Yasir, and his mother Sumayya, along with other companions, such as Suhayb, Bilal, Khabbab, and Salim (Allah be pleased with them all). They were all tortured. Sumayya was tied up between two camels and impaled with a spear. They also killed her husband, Yasir.

When it came to ‘Ammar, he succumbed to their wishes and said statements of disbelief. Once he was released, he confessed remorsefully to the Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace). The Prophet asked, “What is the state of your heart?” He replied, “Firm on faith.” The Prophet said, “Then, if they torture you again, then you can do it again.”

Allah Most High revealed the following verse in acknowledgment of this occurrence:

Allah Most High says, “Whoever disbelieves in Allah after their belief—not those who are forced while their hearts are firm in faith, but those who embrace disbelief wholeheartedly—they will be condemned by Allah and suffer a tremendous punishment.” [Quran; 16:106]

Advice

The most important means for you to take in this situation is to turn to Allah Most High in sincere supplication to ease your burden and guide you to do what is best.

Thereafter, try to keep in mind that the only thing you are accountable for is to do your best to uphold the minimum requirements of Islam, the most important of which are seeking the minimum level of Sacred knowledge, performing the five daily prayers, and fasting in Ramadan.

Regarding Sacred knowledge, there are an increasing number of options online. That said, try to attach yourself to consistent, even if small, sessions of learning. Do your best to keep your practice and learning private so that you do not cause additional hardship; if, despite this, you are met with opposition, try to maintain perseverance and patience while exhibiting good character and respect.

Perhaps you can pray in a closet or the bathroom, if it is big enough, so you are not directly next to the toilet while praying. For fasting, you might keep a protein bar in your closet for suhoor and try not to be home until Maghrib. In this case, if you cannot get to the Jumuah prayer (assuming you are a male and are required to) without hardship, the obligation likely would fall off for you. [Ibn ‘Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

And Allah knows best

[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a teacher of Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he went on to study at Darul Uloom Seminary in New York and completed his studies at Darul Mustafa in Tarim, Yemen.

There, he completed the memorization of the Quran and his study of Islamic Sciences. Throughout his years of study, he was blessed to learn from many great scholars: Habib Umar bin Hafiz, Habib Kazhim al-Saqqaf, Shaykh ‘Umar bin Husayn al-Khatib, and others.

Upon returning, he joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.