How Should I Deal with a Non-Muslim Friend Who Insults Islam?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

How should I deal with a non-Muslim friend who unintentionally says offensive things about Islam, even though she apologizes and is generally respectful?

Answer

Thank you for your question. You should tell her to stop, and if she doesn’t, you should distance yourself from her, as she doesn’t seem like a good influence in your life.

Friends

One must be careful about the company they choose. A friend who insults Islam in indirect ways, whether through backhanded compliments or complisults (a new word!), is not a true friend and can sow devastating seeds of waswasa in your heart.

Our Beloved Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) advised us, saying,

“A person is on the religion of his close friend, so let him carefully examine whom he befriends.” [Tirmidhi; Abu Dawud]

And the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,

“The similitude of good company and bad company is that of the owner of musk and the one blowing the bellows. The owner of the musk would either offer you some free of charge, or you would buy it from him, or you smell its pleasant fragrance; and as for the one who blows the bellows (i.e., the blacksmith), he either burns your clothes or you smell a repugnant smell.”  [Bukhari; Muslim]

Tips

• Be clear to her that she hurt your feelings but tell her gently as there is more reward in being gentle than harsh.
• Set boundaries so she knows it’s not OK to mock or insult your religion.
• Educate her so that when she says something off, it’s your chance to clarify her misunderstanding.
• If it keeps happening, and she keeps apologizing, it’s a sign that you need to rethink this friendship.
• Ask Allah to guide her to Islam; you might help plant the seeds of curiosity and faith in her!

Please see more details here:

• Is it Haram to Befriend Non-Muslims?
• What Is the Ruling of Having a Non-Muslim as a Friend and Confidant?
• Is It OK if My Best Friend Is Non-Muslim?
• Is This Hadith, a Man Follows the Religion of His Friend, Literal, So If a Man Has a Non-Muslim Friend, Will He Become of That Religion?

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied ‘aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.