Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I have seen some questions on this site of women who thought that piety determines reward, and not gender but then found that gender determines how many good deeds a person gets and how much love from Allah they get. I feel bad for them as they feel disappointed. I hate for this to happen to my daughters.
Should I teach them from a young age that Allah loves men more and rewards them more for the same good deed so they have to worship more to obtain the same reward as their brothers? Should I teach them that getting what one desires in Paradise is mainly for men so that they grow up believing that a man with the same piety and exact same worship, good deeds, and sincerity is better in eyes of the Allah than a woman’s deeds?
Thank you for your question. No, do not teach your daughters the nonsense that you have described. It would be a lie.
Reward in Paradise
Allah will reward men with what He has promised them of what they desire most, and will reward women with what He has promised of what they desire most. A man’s worship is not more beloved to Allah than a woman’s, nor are his deeds, nor his sincerity. Both will be granted the likes of what the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us, “Allah says: ‘I have prepared for My righteous slaves that which no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and it has never crossed the mind of man.’” [Ibn Majah]
Contemplate this verse, and ponder whether Paradise is a place where men are rewarded more: Allah Most High has said, “Surely (for) Muslim men and women, believing men and women, devout men and women, truthful men and women, patient men and women, humble men and women, charitable men and women, fasting men and women, men and women who guard their chastity, and men and women who remember Allah often—for (all of) them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.” [Quran, 33:35] Does the above verse sound like Allah is being unfair to you?
Please teach your daughters about the joys of Paradise, eternal peace and happiness, the gift of gazing upon the countenance of our Lord, and being in the company of those that they love. Teach them the words of Allah from the Quran, “Allah has promised the believers, both men and women, Gardens under which rivers flow, to stay there forever, and splendid homes in the Gardens of Eternity, and—above all—the pleasure of Allah. That is (truly) the ultimate triumph.” [Quran, 9:72]
Please see many more details in these links:
Do Men Get More Rewards in Paradise Than Women Do to Them Being Able To Have Multiple Wives?
Why Are My Rewards in Paradise Different Because of My Gender?
What Do Women Get in Paradise?
Is There Someone in Paradise That Gets Sad When Women Are Hurt on Earth?
Reader on Women’s Ranks in the Hereafter
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.