Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: I have committed a lot of sins. I curse myself in the hope that I will not fall into the same sin but I keep sinning. I am working in computer engineering, but have no success in my sales.
I have done a lot of supplications but I don’t see any changes. My wife is the provider, which makes me feel ashamed. Can you help me?
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah help you make a complete repentance, and increase your provision.
The conditions for a valid repentance are:
a. One leaves the sin,
b. One feels remorse for the action committed,
c. One resolves to not return to it, and
d. One pays back or returns what one owes if the sin involves the rights of others.
[Nawawi, Riyad al-Salihin]
Have you hurt another person through your sin? If you have, then please seek to redress it. Examples of redressing harm to another are: returning stolen money/goods, seeking forgiveness from someone you have harmed, clarifying the truth if you have slandered another, etc.
As I am unsure about the nature of your sin, then I cannot give you more specific advice. Please seek out a compassionate local scholar and ask for help. If you are struggling with an addiction, then please seek out a counsellor or psychologist.
Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (upon him be blessings and peace) having said: “By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if you were not to commit sin, Allah would sweep you out of existence and He would replace (you by) those people who would commit sin and seek forgiveness from Allah, and He would have pardoned them.” [Sahih Muslim]
Please reflect on this beautiful hadith, and have hope in Allah’s Mercy. When you sin, instead of cursing yourself, ask Allah for forgiveness.
It was narrated from Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “It is necessary that you do not become hasty.” It was said: “What does being hasty mean, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “When one says: ‘I supplicated to Allah but Allah did not answer me.'” [Sunan Ibn Majah]
Please keep on making dua and praying tahajjud, and please do so with patience. It can be very challenging to wait for an opening from Allah, but trust that He is listening, and will answer.
Please read Surah Al-Waqiah to increase your provision. Even though it is difficult for you, make shukr that you have a wife who has the ability to support you financially. InshaAllah you will be able to provide for her again in the near future. Remember the example of our Lady Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her), who was much older than the Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace) and much wealthier.
Please perform the Prayer of Need and ask Allah to help you stop your sin, and for Allah to increase your provision. Trust that nothing is difficult for Allah.
Please refer to the following link:
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani