Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I had sex with my fiance’s mother (she is not my mahram). I am in love with her daughter, and I’m going to marry her soon in sha Allah. Is my marriage valid to her daughter? Her daughter loves me so much. She says that if I do not marry her, she will commit suicide. Please help.
Performing fornication (zina) with your fiance’s mother is a tremendous sin, because of the emotional pain it can cause in addition to disobeying Allah. It is still valid for you to marry your fiance.
You must make repentance (tawba) from this immediately and mean it. Pray two cycles of prayer with the intention of repenting (salah al-tawba). Ask Allah to forgive you this heinous act and ask that he remove every thought of her from your mind.
You have two choices; you can either:
Marry your fiance and keep far away from your mother-in-law. Don’t come near her or even see her if possible. Make excuses not to see her; if you do see her, be cold. Of course, never confess the sin to anyone.
Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “All my community will be excused except those who are blatant. And it is from blatancy for one to perform an act at night and to wake up and tell something that they did such-and-such while Allah had concealed it for them. They slept under cover off Allah, and they rended Allah’s covering from themselves in the morning.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Or you can leave this family altogether. Please do not feel compelled to marry this girl because she claims she will commit suicide. Your faith (iman) is more important than making her happy, and you have a right to protect yourself from her mother.
Please pray Istikhara: The Prayer of Seeking Guidance, and I pray that Allah guides you to what is best. Please see the related links below.
Despair not of Allah’s mercy. Anas said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) say, ‘Allah the Almighty said: O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.’” [Tirmidhi]
May Allah give you the best in this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.