Do I Have Grounds For Divorce if My Husband Insults Me For Putting Make-Up On?
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
May Allah reward you for your hard work. Do I have the right to divorce my husband for calling me a wh*** and bringing up my past sins before marriage in a very direct and harsh way? Being treated this way makes me feel like I don’t deserve to be a Muslim. Can I divorce him for making me lose connection with my deen?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question. It is wrong of your husband to call you in this way.
You need to speak to him and remind him of his emotional insults and, how wrong they are as a husband and caretaker, how it has affected you in many ways. It is difficult to judge whether you have grounds for divorce as we don’t know the on-the-ground situation between you and him. Whether it is the first time or happens often and has affected you irreversibly.
The first approach in a marital dispute is to sit down and remind each other about responsibilities and commitments, then form a form of disciplinary action, then arbitration according to the Quran and how it is understood in all four schools. Live apart for a while. Then, if all this doesn’t work, you may ask him for a divorce. This is the letter and spirit of the law.
[Ibn ’Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]
Due to the sensitivity of this situation, I would advise you to consult local scholars – people who are reliable, pious, have wisdom, and understand family and community dynamics.
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction in sha Allah.
Related Answers
- Divorce and Abuse – SeekersGuidance
- Love, Marriage, and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered (seekersguidance.org)
- Etiquette of Marriage: A Comprehensive SeekersGuidance Reader
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.
