Does Dhihar Take Effect If One Writes the Word While Thinking of Their Spouse?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

Does dhihar take effect if one writes the word while thinking of their spouse without saying it? While writing a question about dhihar, a thought of my wife came to mind, and I felt like I had an intention. I did not say anything verbally. Does this constitute a valid dhihar?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.

Dhihar (illicit comparison) will not take place if one writes a word thinking of their spouse.

Illicit Comparison (Dhihar)

Illicit Comparison (Dhihar) is when a husband likens his wife to a woman who is permanently forbidden to him, such as his mother or sister. This can be expressed either about the whole body or a part of it.

For example, saying, “You are forbidden to me like my daughter,” or “You are to me like my mother’s back” (the back being used here to represent a part of the body).

Ruling of ِIllicit Comparison (Dhihar)

If a man says to his wife, “You are to me like my mother,” the ruling depends on his intention:

• If he intended to honor her (meaning he only meant respect and affection, not prohibition), then it is as he intended, and no legal consequences follow.

• If he intended dhihar (declaring her unlawful to himself like his mother), it counts as dhihar, which is prohibited and requires expiation (kaffara) before he can resume marital relations.

• If he intended divorce, it constitutes a final (irrevocable) divorce (Talaq Bain), meaning she does not remain his wife unless a new marriage contract is made.

• If he had no specific intention, then no legal consequences arise, as ambiguous words alone do not lead to divorce or dhihar without intention.

[Maydani, al-Lubab fi Sharh al-Kitab]

For a detailed explanation of Dhihar, please read the linked answers below.

Please go through the valuable answers and links below. In sha Allah, they will provide you with guidance and direction.

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I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received a traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.