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How to Deal with the Reality of My Son Getting Married to a Non-Muslim Girl?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

My son has married a white non-Muslim girl. May Allah guide him and put in his heart to marry a Muslim girl. Please give me some duas to recite to help my son escape this situation.

Answer

SubhanAllah, this must be a difficult situation for you. I can see that you disapprove of this marriage and are trying to find a way out. May Allah give you peace in your heart.

First, which religion does she follow? Is she Christian or Jewish? If not, then your son’s marriage to her would be invalid in any case.

Is a Marriage to a Non-Muslim Woman Valid? (Shafi’i)

There are some considerations in this situation. You can decide to support the couple, love them, teach them and be an excellent example as a Muslim for them. Or you could be distant from them, show them your anger and frustration, and try to make them miserable until they end the marriage. Which one is better for your sanity and your relationship with your son?

Seeking Help from Allah

Instead of fighting the situation, you can pray to Allah to give your son what is best for him and pray for his religion. The only thing that can help him in his afterlife is his religion, not what kind of wife he has. So direct your prayers toward his love of Allah and the Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace). Ask him to take a course on personally obligatory Islamic knowledge. Ask him to read the Quran regularly with the meaning. Encourage him to pray, fast, and go to ’umra.

Teaching Islam

Is the girl interested in Islam? She can take a course about Islam too. Offer to teach her to read the Quran. Buy her a translation. Be kind and supportive of her. Let her see how beautiful the life of a religious Muslim is.

Please see the following link for the powerful du’a of a parent; I recommend that you say it every day until you gain some peace of heart. Meanwhile, be sure to pray on time, pray tahajjud in the last third of the night, pay your zakat and make up any fasts or prayers you missed. Eat only halal, make sure your income is halal, and eliminate all the prohibited (haram) and disliked things (makruh) stuff from your life. And, of course, read some Quran with the meaning every day.

Check these links:
The Powerful Dua of a Parent
10 Powerful Duas That Will Change Your Life

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.