I Divorced My Wife Twice over Two Years Ago, but I Intended to Continue the Marriage. Is the Marriage Still Valid?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

I divorced my wife twice over two years ago, but I intended to continue the marriage. Since then, we have had no physical relationship, and she is asking for six months to wait. Is the marriage still valid?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

If you divorced your wife and then revoked the divorce within the waiting period (‘idda) by saying “I revoke my divorce and would like you to return,” you are still married. If you revoked the divorce after the waiting period ended, then you will need to remarry through a simple marriage and mahr, which can be done simply without anyone knowing, just her being present, and the two witnesses.

[Ibn ‘Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

Honorably Retain or Kindly Let Go

The Quran and His Messenger mention that a marriage needs to work together; either one comes to a settled agreement or departs amicably without any bitter outcome.

Allah Most High said in the Quran, when guiding us about divorce, that a wife should either be retained with honor or separated with grace.

“The divorce that can be returned from may be pronounced up to two times, then either honorably retaining her or kindly letting her go.” [Quran, 2:229]

Quranic Guidance

The Quranic guidance is to seek help from righteous scholars, elders, and professional mediators, then strive for reconciliation and give marriage another chance; if this second step fails, the husband should issue a divorce, which may be documented in the presence of witnesses.

A couple has to part amicably, fulfilling legal obligations after divorce, such as custody, returning belongings, and respecting each other with mutual understanding and sensitivity on both sides. Respect and empathy should be maintained now and in the future, especially if one has children.

Divorce – a Solution to Remove Mutual Harm

Divorce in Islam can be a mercy for the couple. The reason is that if the intended goal of marriage is not attained – mutual comfort – then divorce is a solution to the difficulty.

Allah Most High stated in the Quran, ‘But if they choose to separate, Allah will enrich both of them from His bounties. And Allah is Ever-Bountiful, All-Wise.” [Quran, 4:130]

Divorce – Most Hated of Permissible Things

It was narrated from ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “The most hated of permissible things to Allah is divorce.” [Sunan Ibn Maja]

If you choose to proceed as a family, try to end the marriage on amicable terms so it does not affect your futures. Divorce should be a last resort. Your wife can be your closest companion with effort, given a chance, much dua, and honest emotional growth work.

Perform the Prayer of Need and Guidance as often as necessary so things will work out for the best of you both.

May Allah bring happiness and harmony to your marriage so you can grow together as a family in faith and good deeds. Amin.

I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. In sha Allah, you will receive guidance and direction.

Related 

• Conflict Resolution in Marriage -Sh.Faraz Rabbani
• marriage and divorce Archives – SeekersGuidance
• Love, Marriage, and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
• Prayer of Need (Salat al-Haja)

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I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received a traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.