Is a Secret Nikah Permissible if We Fear Our Parents Will Refuse?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul Rashim Reasat

Question

My partner and I intend to marry, and regret remaining in a relationship outside of nikah. As we are both still studying and not financially stable, we fear our parents would refuse a proposal.

We are considering a private nikah now and informing our families later to avoid remaining in haram. Is this permissible according to the Quran and Sunnah? If not, what should we do instead?

Answer

In the name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Ever-Merciful.

All praise belongs to Allah, Lord of all beings, and may peace and blessings be upon our master Muhammad.

There are basic underlying factors of suitability in a marriage, and in their absence, a secret nikah would not be valid at all. The way around this is to present the situation to your parents and discuss potential ways to mend or resolve it. [Maydani, Lubab]

It’s clear what being in this relationship entails and the harm it does to your religious practice. Continuing with something that is displeasing to Allah Most High, in this way, won’t bring you any good in your life.

Consider approaching your parents and asking them to allow you to get married while you remain in your own family home until you’re able to provide adequately for your wife.

May Allah grant you both the best.

And Allah knows best.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

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Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began studying Arabic Grammar and Morphology whilst studying for a degree in English and History. After graduating, He traveled to Damascus and studied Arabic, Hanafi Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, and Logic with Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahman Arjan al-Binsawi, Shaykh Husayn Darwish, Shaykh Muhammad Darwish, the late Shaykh Rashad Shams, and others. He then moved to Amman to continue his studies in those fields, as well as in Tafsir, Quranic Sciences, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Prophetic Biography, Prophetic Perfections and Traits, Rhetoric, Arabic Literature, and Tajwid. His teachers include Shaykh Ali Hani, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Dr Salah Abu al-Hajj, Dr Mansur Abu Zina, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Shaykh Ahmad Jammal, and others.