Must a Woman Return to an Abusive Husband Who Swore an Oath on the Quran?

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question

A woman left her abusive husband and sought khula. He now demands she return briefly, claiming he swore an oath on the Quran not to harm her. Is she required to return? Would refusing be disrespecting the Quran?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate.

I pray this finds you in faith and well-being. May Allah Most High protect your sister, grant her safety, and bring her ease.

Your sister is not required to return. Refusing is not disrespect to the Quran. Honoring the Quran means upholding its commands of justice, mercy, and safety. Her safety is itself a ruling of the Sacred Law.

The Quranic Prohibition Against Harm

The Quran forbids retaining a woman to harm her. Allah Most High commanded husbands clearly: “And do not retain them to inflict harm and commit transgression: and whoever does something so vile as that, has certainly wronged himself.” [Quran, 2:231, in Keller’s The Quran Beheld]

Allah Most High set the only two honorable paths: “either honorably retaining her, or kindly letting her go.” [Quran, 2:229]

He commanded the spirit of marriage in three words that decide this case: “But rather live with them graciously and reasonably” [Quran, 4:19]

And regarding a wife is to be housed: “Lodge them in the same kind of quarters you live in, within your means; and do not ill-use them to harass them out” [Quran, 65:6]

Using fear or coercion goes against all these commands.

The Sacred Law Is Meant to Remove Harm

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “There shall be no harm and no reciprocating of harm” (la darar wa la dirar) [Ibn Maja; Ahmad]

The Messenger of Allah (peace & blessings be upon him)  also said: “Whoever causes harm, Allah causes him harm; and whoever causes hardship, Allah causes him hardship” [Abu Dawud; Tirmidhi; Ibn Maja]

These are central principles of our religion and Sacred Law. If a husband has a history of harm, he cannot compel her to return.

The Noble Prophetic Example: He Never Hit Anyone

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) never struck anyone with his hand: not a woman, nor a servant. Abuse is not family discipline. It is a violation of Prophetic character.

The Oath He Swore Is His Responsibility, Not Hers

She did not swear; he did. If he fails to keep his oath, the expiation is his alone.

Allah Most High made the kaffara explicit: “the expiation for breaking which is to feed ten unfortunates the usual fare you feed your own families, or to clothe them, or to free a slave; so whoever finds no means to do any of these, then to fast three days” [Quran, 5:89; see Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

His oath does not affect her actions. Her refusal does not break any sacred thing. True disrespect to the Quran would be using it to pressure a wronged woman to return to harm.

Status of Khula

It is also important to know the status of the khula.

If her khula has been completed, she is no longer his wife. Returning as a wife is not possible unless there is a new nikah, with her full choice. If the khula is not yet complete, the principle of removing harm still protects her. She may continue the process through a qualified Shariah council in her area.

What She Should Do

She should not return alone or meet him privately while she feels unsafe. The Quran sets the structured path: “And should you fear a rift between man and wife, send an arbiter from his kin and an arbiter from hers; and if both truly desire to settle between the couple, Allah will restore harmony between them” [Quran, 4:35]

Communication should be through trusted family, qualified scholars, or appointed arbiters. She should not meet him privately. She should continue the khula process through proper Islamic and legal channels.

If there is any danger, threat, or coercion, she should seek immediate protection and legal advice. Taking the means is not a weakness of trust in Allah Most High. It is what Allah commands of the believer.

Her Safety Is the Ruling

Protecting the wronged is a duty of the Sacred Law. An oath on the Quran does not erase past abuse, remove reasonable fear, or require a woman to put herself in harm’s way.

The honor of the Quran is upheld by protecting her, not by using it against her. May Allah grant your sister safety, dignity, and a swift opening to a better path. May He guide her husband to true repentance and to the kindness Allah has commanded.

For a final, case-specific ruling, your sister should consult a qualified local scholar who has the full picture. She should also take every necessary safety measure.

And Allah knows best.

[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani

Related

• Defining Ill-Conduct (Nushuz) in Marriage
• Cheating Husband — Counsel
• What Is the Process of Asking Khula from Husband
• Conflict Resolution in Marriage: The Importance of Addressing Harm in Relationships – Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
• Abusive Relationship
• What Are the Words Which Make an Oath Binding?

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having studied under leading scholars from around the world. He is the Founder and Executive Director of SeekersGuidance.

Shaykh Faraz stands as a distinguished figure in Islamic scholarship. His journey in seeking knowledge is marked by dedication and depth. He spent ten years studying under some of the most revered scholars of our times. His initial studies took place in Damascus. He then continued in Amman, Jordan.

In Damascus, he was privileged to learn from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas. Shaykh Adib al-Kallas was renowned as the foremost theologian of his time. Shaykh Faraz also studied under Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi in Damascus. Shaykh Hassan is recognized as one of the leading Hanafi jurists of our era.

Upon completing his studies, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in 2007. His return marked a new chapter in his service to the community. He founded SeekersGuidance. The organization reflects his commitment to spreading Islamic knowledge. It aims to be reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible. This mission addresses both online and on-the-ground needs.

Shaykh Faraz is also an accomplished author. His notable work includes “Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School,” which was published by White Thread Press in 2004 and is a significant contribution to Islamic literature.

His influence extends beyond his immediate community. Since 2011, Shaykh Faraz has been recognized as one of the 500 most influential Muslims. This recognition comes from the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center. It underscores his impact on the global Islamic discourse.

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani’s life and work embody a profound commitment to Islamic scholarship. His teachings continue to enlighten and guide seekers of knowledge worldwide.