How Can I Become a Steadfast Muslim After Getting Out of an Illicit Relationship?


Question: Is every pain that we feel a trial? I was in a haram relationship, but by the Mercy of Allah, He led me out of it. When I was in that relationship, I was cheated on by him often and got verbally abused. I used to cry a lot. I thought that because I was in a haram relationship, Allah would never see my pain because of my disobedience. Those moments were excruciating. From now on, how can I be a good Muslim, and can I have tips for remaining steadfast?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your pain, and I am pleased that you have moved past this sin. I believe from now on; you will find much good and many blessings in your life by His grace.

Tawba

The first step toward changing yourself is repentance. Sincere repentance with sincere regret and the resolve to never do it again with any boy is essential. Please see the details here:

https://seekersguidance.org/articles/featured-articles/what-are-the-conditions-of-making-tawba-transcript-ustadh-abdullah-misra/

Learn

The second step is to increase your knowledge and apply it to your life correctly. Learn your basic obligations in Islam and the halal and haram of daily life. Couple these with a class on the Prophet’s biography (Allah bless him and give him peace) for inspiration and heart softening. See these always-free classes linked here:
https://seekersguidance.org/courses/absolute-essentials-of-islam-shafii-habshis-encompassing-epistle-explained-getting-started-with-your-belief-and-practice/

https://seekersguidance.org/courses/meccan-dawn-the-life-of-the-beloved-prophet-muhammad-in-mecca/

Resources

Watch these videos on steadfastness, and see the other links below for more tips on changing yourself for the better after much pain and tribulation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5hJ56OYsT0
https://seekersguidance.org/show/dealing-tribulations-inward-outward/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HMzg0HSH1U

Finally, I want you to know that Allah did see the pain you were going through, and He did not cast you aside because of the disobedience. Proof that Allah heard your pain is that He took you out of this situation, giving you what was the best for you, and for that, your gratitude should be unending. May Allah give you the best of this world and the next and bless you with a husband who will treat you well and give you all that you deserve and more.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.