Question: I have an addiction to something haram. I have tried to quit cold turkey in the past but have failed and relapsed. My new method is a gradual reduction until I completely stop. One of the conditions of repentance is to resolve never to return to the sin. When I am repenting, I know for a fact that I will return to the sin, will my repentance not be accepted until I reach the end goal of my gradual reduction?
Thank you for your question. First, I commend that you have recognized that you have an addiction and that you are taking steps to eliminate the problem. It is very challenging and I pray that Allah helps you until the end. I know that you will overcome this, by His grace.
Continue your tawba
As for your repentance, you should continue to make repentance every step of the way. I believe that your sincere repentance from this sin is one of the very reasons that you have been able to gradually reduce your sin. Allah hears you and wants to help you change. It is simply a trick of the Shaytan to tell you not to bother repenting and that will lead to your problem becoming worse.
Allah loves to hear your repentance Your interacting and connecting with Allah, the Changer of Hearts, is valuable in changing yourself. He hears you, He helps you, you pour your heart out to Him, you beg Him to help you, He inspires you to change, and He responds with His blessings and grace. The Devil wants to stop this interaction so he is telling you that your repentance is worthless. Please ignore him and continue on your path.
Death at any moment
In addition, one does not know when death will come. You can die at any moment on any day. Would you be ready to face Allah, knowing that you held off on your repentance? Muslims should live every day as their last. I am certain that you will achieve your goal and I pray that you can be a guiding light for others. May Allah give you the best in this world and the next.
Allah’s pleasure with a servant’s tawba
Consider this Prophetic hadith: “Verily, Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His slave than a person who has his camel in a waterless desert carrying his provision of food and drink and it is lost. He, having lost all hopes (to get that back), lies down in shade and is disappointed about his camel; when all of a sudden he finds that camel standing before him. He takes hold of its reins and then out of boundless joy blurts out: ‘O Allah, You are my slave and I am Your Rabb’. He commits this mistake out of extreme joy” [Muslim].
See these links as well:
Is Repentance Accepted If You Sin Again? (Video)
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.