Is It Unjust That My Husband Issued Me a Divorce Without Notice?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

My husband left for Germany to repay his father’s loan with an agreement to return in two years. After repaying the loan, he changed his behavior, shared our private matters with his friends, and issued a divorce letter without notifying me. Given that he knew I was waiting for him, is this behavior considered unjust (zulm)?

Answer

Thank you for your question. Yes, this behavior is unjust because it involves breaking trust, not fulfilling obligations, and causing harm without just cause. I empathize with your pain and I pray that you find a resolution.

Solemn Covenant

Allah refers to marriage as a solemn covenant in His book. What does this mean? It means a formal agreement, pledge, or commitment made between you and him, according to the mandates of Allah and His Messenger. He cannot take this lightly.

In this verse, Allah Most High speaks of taking back a bride’s marriage payment, but we see the significance of this covenant:

“And how could you take it back after having enjoyed each other intimately, and she has taken from you a firm commitment?“ [Quran, 4:21]

Promise and Privacy

Fulfilling a promise is no light matter. His initial promise to return after two years was a trust and a promise to you. Breaking that promise without reason or prior communication is a betrayal. Allah Most High has told us in the Quran,

“(…) Honour (your) pledges, for you will surely be accountable for them.” [Quran, 17:34]

Sharing private marital matters is also sinful as the Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,

“The most important of the trusts in the sight of Allah on the Day of judgment is that a man goes to his wife and she goes to him (and the breach of this trust is) that he should divulge her secret.” [Muslim]

Divorce

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,

“There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.” [Ibn Maja]

And he (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,

“Whoever harms others, Allah will harm him, and whoever causes hardship to others, Allah will cause hardship to him. [Abu Dawud]

Islam permits divorce but it must be carried out with care, fairness, and support. Failing to inform you is not only unjust but also goes against the proper etiquette of divorce in Islam.

See those details here: What Are the Etiquettes When Going Through a Divorce?

Turn to Allah

During this difficult time, channel your pain into dua, especially at tahajjud time. Pray on time, read and reflect on the Quran daily, and exert patience. Take steps to pick yourself and pursue study or work. Consult a local scholar to discuss the details, learn your rights and facilitate mediation. You may find that the relationship is over, and I urge you to move forward as best you can.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,

“Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him before you. Get to know Allah in times of ease, and He will know you in times of hardship. And know that what missed you was not going to hit you, and what hit you was not going to miss you. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship.” [Nawawi, Riyad al-Salihin]

Dua

Please say this prophetic dua daily:

اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّـي أَعـوذُ بِكَ أَنْ أَضِـلَّ أَوْ أُضَـل ،أَوْ أَزِلَّ أَوْ أُزَل ،أَوْ أَظْلِـم أَوْ أُظْلَـم ،أَوْ أَجْهَلَ أَوْ يُـجْهَلَ عَلَـيّ

“O Allah, I seek refuge in You lest I misguide others, or I am misguided by others, lest I cause others to err or I am caused to err, lest I abuse others or be abused, and lest I behave foolishly (ignorantly) or meet with the foolishness (ignorance) of others.” [Abu Dawud; Ibn Maja, Nasa’i; Tirmidhi]

And this supplication daily:

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَاماً

“Our Lord! Bless us with (pious) spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.” [Quran, 25:74]

Please see more details here:

• What Is the Fiqh of Divorce? Is Pronouncing a Divorce in Front of Witnesses Necessary?
• How Do I Deal With a Husband Who Sent Me Out of the Country, Divorced Me by Surprise, and Kept My Belongings?
• My Husband Pronounced a Divorce Over the Phone Without Warning. Is My Divorce Valid?
• Family Problems: Maintaining Conviction in Allah During Difficulty & Tribulation

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied ‘aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.