How Can I Instill the Love of Islam in My Children Despite My Controlling Husband?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
How can I protect my children’s positive connection to Islam, given my ex-husband’s inconsistent religious influence and controlling tendencies?
Answer
Thank you for your question. Most of us worry about the same thing because no one’s circumstances are perfect at home.
Deen
`Abdullah ibn `Umar said that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler who is in charge of the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. A servant is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock. Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.” [Bukhari & Muslim]
Prayer, du`a, emulating the sunna and trusting in Allah Most High are some of the tools we must use to navigate the world, and in sha Allah, our children will see that and resort to it as well. I encourage you to apply the formidable advice in the links below.
Du`a
I recommend these daily supplications for you:
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
“Our Lord! Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.” [Quran, 25:74]
اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْنا مِن التَّوَّابِينَ واجْعَلنا مِن المُتَطَهِّرينَ ،اللّهُمَّ اجْعَلْنا مِن المُحْسِنين الصّابِرينَ المُقْسِطين المُتَّقين المُتَوَكِّلِين بِرَحمَتِكَ يا ارْحَمَ الرّاحِمِين
O God, make us among those who repent and make us among those who purify themselves. O God, make us among the doers of good, the patient, the just, the pious, and those who trust in Your mercy, O Most Merciful of the Merciful.
The best advice I can give you is here:
How Can We Instill a Love for Islamic Knowledge in Our Children?
Educating Children
What Is the Ruling on Raising Children in Islam?
Six Steps to Instilling the Attribute of Courage in Muslim Children
Raising Children with Deen and Dunya
What Are the Foundations for Building Islamic Character for Children?
What Is the Ruling on Raising Children in Islam?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
