Am I Obliged to Check In and Offer Support to My Illegitimate Child?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
As a recent convert, I worry about severing family ties and its impact on my Hereafter. Fifteen years ago, I fathered a child out of wedlock and legally accepted responsibility, though the child’s family did not want a relationship with me.
Am I obligated to check in and offer support, or may I leave the offer standing and step back to avoid hardship for them?
Answer
Thank you for your question. Maintaining family ties is very important in Islam, and you should do your best to be involved in his/her life now, especially because he/she is 15 years old and deserves a father in his/her life.
Ties of Kinship
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“The most quickly rewarded of good deeds are kindness and upholding the ties of kinship, and the most quickly punished evil deeds are injustice and severing the ties of kinship.” [Ibn Maja]
‘Aisha reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“Kinship (rahim) is derived from Allah. If anyone maintains ties of kinship, Allah maintains ties with him. If anyone cuts them off, Allah cuts him off.” [Bukhari]
Father
Although you may not be labeled “father“ according to Islamic Law, you are his biological father and must make an effort to be there. Offer any and every kind of assistance you can, whether it be financial, emotional, or moral. Don’t give in to the child’s family, they don’t need to have a relationship with you, but insist on having a role in the child’s life. Walking away is not an option. Stepping back is not avoiding hardship, it is causing it.
Please see more details here:
- What Are the Rights and Rulings of Illegitimate Children?
- Can I Claim a Child from an Illicit Relationship?
- What Obligations Does a Person Have Towards His Illegitimate Child?
- Is the child my father had outside of wedlock my brother?
- Should I Support Financially the Illegitimate Child of My Deceased Father?
- Can a Non-Muslim Child Born out of Wedlock Establish a Relationship with a Father?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied ‘aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
