Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
I am unable to overcome my nafs. I know Islam is truth. I know I need to stop wasting time and do something useful, but I can’t overcome my nafs. I am not rebelling, but how is this just? I want to change; I know I need to change, but my nafs have become un-overcomable.
I intend not to waste time the next day, but I make the wrong choices at the last minute and then regret it again later, usually at night. I have good intentions, but I waste time and follow my desires the next day.
At night, I have depression, but I can’t overcome it. I want to change at night, but I make the opposite choice in the morning. Then again, I am depressed at night. I don’t know what is happening. I get repeating thoughts of giving up.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.
No one can, in a complete sense, overcome their ego and self (nafs) except the very few; what we can do is incline it towards good, make it realize that when a thought enters, one intends to sin, we know what steps to take, and we take it.
Your anxiety and struggle to move away from such thoughts and having morning and evening ups and downs is a sign of your sincerity. Such doubts are never to be turned nor given any attention to. Make this point of turning to Allah Most High in repentance, longing, and loving Him, His Noble Book, the beloved sunnas of the Prophet, sending Salawat on the Prophet and intensely loving him (Allah bless and give him peace).
Recite the Quran
Sit down with the Quran and start reciting it from beginning to end, as much as you can daily, especially when you feel down, and ask Allah Most High to alleviate your sadness.
Shaykh Ahmed al-Masarawi said that the Quran absorbs sadness and grief from the heart like a sponge. If you read the Quran while sorrowful and disheartened, it will bandage you. And if you read it while joyful and delighted, it will multiply your happiness.
All Is Good for a Believer with Patience and Gratitude
Suhayb (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “How astonishing are the affairs of the believer! Because all of his circumstances are tremendously good. And that applies to no one except the believer. If good times come to him, then he is grateful, and that is better for him, while if bad times strike him, then he is patient, and that is better for him” [Muslim]
You are worthy just as much as the next person. Ask Allah Most High with a heart full of conviction that He will answer and you in good hands. The Most Generous of the generous always answers.
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction, in sha’ Allah.
- The Meaning of Nafs
- How Can an Introvert Improve His Daily Acts of Worship and Seeking Knowledge?
- How to Strengthen Faith in Allah and Return to Him? A Reader
- Being Balanced – Emotional and Mental Health (I would like you to go through this 2-hour-long podcast. It will be highly beneficial and guide you through.)
- Purification of the Heart for Youth: Diseases of the Heart and Their Cure. [Video]
- The Path of Muhammad: Birgivi’s Manual of Taqwa Explained. [Lecture Series]
- Purification of the Heart by Hamza Yusuf
- How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (Salat al-Haja)?
Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersGuidance?
I pray this helps with your question.
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.