How Should One Communicate with Potential Female Partners Online?
Answered By Shaykh Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad
Question
What are the guidelines for communicating with girls via social media for someone seeking a life partner?
Answer
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. Blessings and peace be upon the Master of the Messengers, his Family, and all his Companions.
Precautionary Principles in Communication
One of the purposes of Sacred Law is to block any means that may lead to prohibited actions. Speaking to, messaging, or forming a relationship with a young woman is among the most significant means that can lead to forbidden matters. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“Beware of the world, and beware of women, for the first trial of the Children of Israel was through women.” [Muslim]
Because of the seriousness of this trial, the Quran places it before other desires, as Allah (Most High) says,
“The enjoyment of (worldly) desires—women, children, treasures of gold and silver, fine horses, cattle, and fertile land—” [Quran, 3:14]
Ibn Kathir commented on this verse: “Women were mentioned first because the temptation they pose is the most severe. It is authentically reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘I have not left a trial more harmful to men than women.’” [Ibn Kathir, Tafsir Ibn Kathir]
Permissibility and Islamic Etiquette
Some contemporary scholars have mentioned that it is permissible for a man to speak to a non-related woman when necessary, provided that Islamic etiquette is observed, and anything that could lead to temptation is avoided. If the communication is for engagement, it is permissible under the previous conditions.
Risks and Caution in Modern Communication
One must be aware that engagement through modern communication channels can be fraught with risks of deceit, misrepresentation, and manipulation. Therefore, it is essential to approach such interactions cautiously and not rely on them as a substitute for in-person engagement.
Moreover, engagement—especially in the current age—should preferably occur through the woman’s guardian, and speaking with the intended fiancée afterward is permissible as long as Islamic guidelines and appropriate safeguards are observed.
Recommended Reading
For further study on this topic, refer to: “Ahkam al-Zawaj fi Daw’ al-Kitab wa al-Sunna” (Marriage Rulings in Light of the Quran and Sunna), by ‘Umar Sulayman al-Ashqar.
May Allah guide us to what pleases Him and protect us from all forms of temptation, both seen and unseen.
And all praise is due to Allah, Lord of all worlds.
[Shaykh] Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad
Shaykh Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad, born in Damascus, Syria, in 1965, pursued his Islamic studies in the mosques and institutes of Damascus. A graduate of the Islamic University of Medina in 1985, he holds a Ph.D. in Islamic Studies from Bahauddin Zakariya University in Pakistan.
He has extensive experience developing curricula and enhancing the teaching of various academic courses, including conducting intensive courses. Shaykh Awad has taught Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Quranic sciences, the history of legislation, inheritance laws, and more at several institutes and universities such as Al-Furqan Institute for Islamic Sciences and Majma‘ al-Fath al-Islami in Damascus.
He is a lecturer at the Sultan Muhammad al-Fatih Waqf University in Istanbul, teaching various Arabic and Islamic subjects, and teaches at numerous Islamic institutes in Istanbul. Shaykh Awad is a member of the Association of Syrian Scholars, a founding member of the Zayd bin Thabit Foundation, a member of the Syrian Scholars Association, and a member of the Academic Council at the Iman Center for Teaching the Sunna and Quran.
Among his teachers from whom he received Ijazat are his father, Shaykh Muhammad Muhiyiddin Awad, Shaykh Muhiyiddin al-Kurdi, Shaykh Muhammad Karim Rajih, Shaykh Usama al-Rifai, Shaykh Ayman Suwaid, Shaykh Ahmad al-Qalash, Shaykh Muhammad Awwama, and Shaykh Mamduh Junayd.
