Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
My fiance who was born and brought up as a Muslim, says he’s a Muslim, believes in the testifications of faith (shahada), but he has questions regarding the religion. He says questioning and challenging the religion is a normal way to understand it. He is a good human being with no bad habits. His family practices the religion. Can I marry him if we both pledge to seek all these answers together and work towards establishing his prayer? Istikhara has shown me a good dream once. I have some anxiety about this and I have a soft spot for him.
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for trying to give this man a fair chance, but I can never recommend that you marry someone that doesn’t pray.
A woman marries in order to have a practicing Muslim leader in the home. Families pray together, bonding at maghrib time, at fajr time, and understanding that Allah is first in the home. Families spend their Fridays, making plans around the Friday prayer, and discussing and contemplating the content of the khutbahs they heard. Families go to the mosque for Sunday school for their children, or other gatherings of remembrance, or simply to meet like-minded families who all want a religious lifestyle for themselves and their children. Children imitate their fathers after they hear them recite the Fatiha a thousand times and try their best to emulate him. Where does a man who doesn’t pray fit into all of this?
Please have him seek the answers he is looking for. He will find many answers to ‘aqidah (tenets of faith) questions, on our website, and courses. He can also take a course by Shaykh Hamza Karamali about “Why Islam is true.“ https://www.basiraeducation.org/courses/why-islam-is-true
He can also benefit from the following answer: Dealing with Doubts about Islam
Take the Means
If he really loves you, should he not solidify what is in his heart now in order to marry you? He should come to his conclusions now, and not be married for potential, which may not even be there. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) told us to marry for religion, not for good character. Please take that seriously and protect yourself from any possible harm to your religion. Please see these tips as well:
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.