How Can I Be Humble Without Erasing My Own Voice?

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question

How can a person be genuinely humble without erasing their own voice?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

Humility is not about lowering yourself. It is about standing in your true place. Speaking clearly is not a failure in humility. The self-erasure you mention is a different problem, and our tradition gives it its own name.

Imam Ghazali sets this out with the precision the question deserves. Humility, he says, is a trait like any other, with two extremes and a middle: “the extreme that inclines toward excess is called arrogance, and the extreme that inclines toward deficiency is called self-abasement and abjection, and the middle is called humility.”

Then the line that answers you directly: “the praiseworthy course is that one be humble without abjection and without self-abasement, for both extremes of a matter are blameworthy, and the most beloved of matters to Allah are their middles.” [Ghazali, Ihya Ulum al-Din, with Zabidi, Ithaf al-Sada al-Muttaqin]

So the thing you sense is wrong actually is wrong. It simply is not humility.

His example makes it concrete. A scholar receives a visit from a tradesman, and he vacates his own seat for him, or seats him in it, then goes ahead of him, sets out his sandals for him, and walks behind him to the door of the house to see him off.

Imam Ghazali’s verdict: “he has demeaned and abased himself, and this too is not praiseworthy. Rather, what is praiseworthy in the sight of Allah is justice, which is that every possessor of a right be given his right.” [Ghazali, Ihya Ulum al-Din]

What humility toward such a person does look like, he says, is standing to greet him, a bright face, cheerfulness in speech, gentleness in questioning, accepting his invitation, going to trouble over his needs, and above all not seeing oneself as better than him. [Ghazali, Ihya Ulum al-Din] Nothing in this is surrendering your place.

The Limits of Humility

Humility has a limit. Imam Ghazali explains that if someone finds it hard to maintain their own standing and begins to seek excessive deference or to put themselves down, they have gone too far. At that point, he says, let the person raise themselves. It is not for a believer to abase themselves. The right way is the middle path.

Shah Abd al-Haqq al-Dihlawi says: humility is the middle between arrogance and self-abasement. Arrogance is raising yourself above your rank. Self-abasement is putting yourself below your rank. Humility is standing in your own place.

Humility Isn’t About Silencing Your Voice

Humility is not about silencing your voice. It is about letting go of the ego’s claim. Imam Ghazali teaches that the cure for pride is to know yourself and to know your Lord. When you know yourself, you see you have nothing to boast about. When you know your Lord, you know that greatness belongs only to Allah.

Any excellence you have is a blessing from Allah. The favor is His, not yours. See it as from Him, and you will not be impressed with yourself. When you are not impressed with yourself, you will not be arrogant. This frees your speech.

If you see your ability as a gift, you do not need to defend or prove yourself. You can speak the truth plainly. The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, was the most humble of people and the clearest in speaking the truth.

It is important to name what is not humility, because it is easy to fall into. Pretending to be small, putting yourself down so others will praise you, or staying silent about the truth out of fear of people—none of this is humility.

Often, it is just the ego in another form. Imam Ghazali says that being impressed with yourself and despairing of yourself are both harmful. Neither leads to action.

Humility Is Standing in Your Own Station

The key is that humility is justice to yourself. Do not put yourself above your rank, and do not put yourself below it. Stand in your true place. In practice, this means two things. Do not claim to be better than the person in front of you.

Do not let false modesty stop you from saying what is true and needs to be said. If you notice yourself shrinking to please others, bring yourself back to the middle. If you notice yourself becoming proud, remember that every gift is from Allah.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “No charity ever diminished wealth, Allah ever increased no one through pardoning except in honor, and no one ever humbled himself for Allah except that Allah raised him.” [Muslim]

When Allah raises the humble, it is not to a quieter life, but to a life of greater meaning and responsibility.

And Allah knows best.

[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani

Related SeekersGuidance Answers

How Can a Person Be Humble? — Defines humility as the middle ground between arrogance and self-deprecation, matching the Ihya passage above, and gives a practical program for acquiring it: purifying the heart, reflecting on one’s origin, and guarding against pride in one’s good deeds.

Self-respect and Arrogance — Takes up the precise boundary this question is about: where legitimate self-respect ends, and arrogance begins, and why the two are not on the same spectrum.

Balancing Confidence and Humility and the Wisdom of Trials from Allah — On holding confidence and humility together rather than trading one for the other, with a treatment of how trials work on both.

What Are Some Keys to Avoiding Pride and Arrogance? — Practical keys for the other side of the mean, including the definition of arrogance as rejecting the truth and looking down on people.

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having studied under leading scholars from around the world. He is the Founder and Executive Director of SeekersGuidance.

Shaykh Faraz stands as a distinguished figure in Islamic scholarship. His journey in seeking knowledge is marked by dedication and depth. He spent ten years studying under some of the most revered scholars of our times. His initial studies took place in Damascus. He then continued in Amman, Jordan.

In Damascus, he was privileged to learn from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas. Shaykh Adib al-Kallas was renowned as the foremost theologian of his time. Shaykh Faraz also studied under Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi in Damascus. Shaykh Hassan is recognized as one of the leading Hanafi jurists of our era.

Upon completing his studies, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in 2007. His return marked a new chapter in his service to the community. He founded SeekersGuidance. The organization reflects its commitment to spreading Islamic knowledge. It aims to be reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible. This mission addresses both online and on-the-ground needs.

Shaykh Faraz is also an accomplished author. His notable work includes “Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School.” This book, published by White Thread Press in 2004, is a significant contribution to Islamic literature.

His influence extends beyond his immediate community. Since 2011, Shaykh Faraz has been recognized as one of the 500 most influential Muslims. This recognition comes from the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center. It underscores his impact on the global Islamic discourse.

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani’s life and work embody a profound commitment to Islamic scholarship. His teachings continue to enlighten and guide seekers of knowledge worldwide.

 

«النصوص» · Source-Texts

[الغزالي، إحياء علوم الدين — كتاب ذم الكبر والعجب، بيان خلق الرياضة في خلق التواضع، مع الزبيدي، إتحاف السادة المتقين]
اعلم هداك الله تعالى أن هذا الخلق كسائر الأخلاق له طرفان وواسطة، فطرفه الذي يميل إلى الزيادة يسمى تكبرا، وهو الإفراط، وطرفه الذي يميل إلى النقصان يسمى تخاسسا ومذلة، وهذا هو التفريط، والوسط يسمى تواضعا. والمحمود أن يتواضع في غير مذلة ومن غير تخاسس، فإن كلا طرفي الأمور ذميم، وأحب الأمور إلى الله أوساطها

[الغزالي، إحياء علوم الدين — الموضع نفسه]
والعالم إذا دخل عليه إسكاف فتنحى له عن مجلسه أو أجلسه فيه، ثم تقدم وسوى له نعله وغدا إلى باب الدار خلفه، فقد تخاسس وتذلل وهو أيضا غير محمود، بل المحمود عند الله العدل، وهو أن يعطى كل ذي حق حقه

[الغزالي، إحياء علوم الدين — الموضع نفسه]
وأما تواضعه للسوقي فبالقيام والبشر في الكلام والرفق في السؤال وإجابة دعوته والسعي في حاجته وأمثال ذلك، وأن لا يرى نفسه خيرا منه

[الغزالي، إحياء علوم الدين — الموضع نفسه]
فإن خف ذلك وصار بحيث يثقل عليه رعاية قدره حتى أحب التملق والتخاسس، فقد خرج إلى طرف النقصان، فليرفع نفسه، إذ ليس للمؤمن أن يذل نفسه، إلى أن يعود إلى حد الوسط الذي هو الصراط المستقيم

[الغزالي، إحياء علوم الدين — بيان الطريق في معالجة الكبر واكتساب التواضع له]
أما العلمي فهو أن يعرف نفسه ويعرف ربه، ويكفيه ذلك في إزالة الكبر، فإنه مهما عرف نفسه حق المعرفة علم أنه أذل من كل ذليل وأقل من كل قليل … وإذا عرف ربه حق المعرفة علم أنه لا تليق العظمة والكبرياء إلا بالله عز وجل

[الغزالي، إحياء علوم الدين — الموضع نفسه]
أما أن تكون ملاحظتك لما أنت متميز به من العلم واعتقاد الحق والعمل الصالح من حيث أنها نعمة من الله عليك، فله المنة فيه لا لك، فترى ذلك منه حتى لا تعجب بنفسك، وإذا لم تعجب لم تتكبر

[الغزالي، إحياء علوم الدين — بيان ذم العجب وآفته]
وقال ابن مسعود رضي الله عنه: الهلاك في اثنتين: القنوط والعجب. وإنما جمع بينهما لأن السعادة لا تنال إلا بالسعي والطلب والجد والتشمير، والقانط لا يسعى ولا يطلب، والمعجب يعتقد أنه قد سعد وظفر بمراده فلا يسعى

[مسلم]
عن أبي هريرة عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ما نقصت صدقة من مال، وما زاد الله عبدا بعفو إلا عزا، وما تواضع أحد لله إلا رفعه الله

[عبد الحق الدهلوي، لمعات التنقيح في شرح مشكاة المصابيح]
التواضع هو التوسط بين الكبر والضعة، والكبر هو رفع النفس إلى ما هو فوق مرتبتها، والضعة وضعها في ما دون مرتبتها، والتواضع وقوفها في مقامها ومرتبتها

[البيهقي، شعب الإيمان — عن ذي النون المصري]
من أراد التواضع فليوجه نفسه إلى عظمة الله فإنها تذوب وتصغر، ومن نظر إلى سلطان الله ذهب سلطان نفسه، لأن النفوس كلها حقيرة عند هيبته

[المناوي، فيض القدير]
وما تواضع أحد لله من المؤمنين رقا وعبودية في ائتمار أمره والانتهاء عن نهيه ومشاهدته لحقارة النفس ونفي التعجب عنها، إلا رفعه الله في الدنيا بأن يثبت له في القلوب بتواضعه منزلة عند الناس ويجل مكانه، وكذا في الآخرة