Married Man Addicted to Boys

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

Question: I’m an adult man with a wife and children.   Since a young age, I’ve liked both males and females.  I have sex with my wife regularly. However, I can’t resist when I see a good looking boy, and many times I have sex with boys.

I pray to Allah in vain to keep save me from this sin.  I don’t know what to do.  Otherwise i look completely straight and no one can ever make out this disease in me.

Please help me.

Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful

Dear Brother,

Thank you for your question. I pray this message finds you well.

Due to the extreme seriousness of your situation, I urge you to seek professional help immediately. You should speak with a psychologist or a psychiatrist who specializes in sexual addiction. Furthermore, you should speak with a spiritual guide as the root of the problem is spiritual.

You should stop deceiving yourself. Straight men do not sleep with other men, let alone young boys. If you are, in any way, victimizing children, you owe it to yourself and them to get help. Depending on the age of these boys, you very well could be committing a crime on top of major sins (homosexuality and adultery).

And then there is the matter of your wife. Not only are you deceiving her by leading a double life, you are exposing her to a host of sexually-transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS.

I implore you to take a good look at yourself and your behavior. Is this how you want to meet Allah? You are hurting your wife, your child, the people with whom you are committing this major sin, and yourself.

Please repent to Allah and ask for divine assistance in curing yourself from this affliction.

Stay away from temptation and get professional help.

May Allah Ta’ala rectify you,

Zaynab Ansari