Answered by Ustadh Salman Younas
Question: I had to endure a very difficult life. I ended up with severe mental problems. I sought help and after several years of treatment I felt better.
I am now in the military and I can feel my suicidal tendencies coming back strong. I can't trust any of my fellow soldiers because they will abuse my trust.
What should I do?
Answer: assalamu alaykum
I would strongly advise you to seek professional help regarding your situation and talk to someone you trust for further advice.
You mentioned in your question that you had previously received treatment for your issues and saw improvement. You should return to this as soon as possible.
If your fellow soldiers are unable to provide the needed assistance, seek out someone who will, such as a private doctor or someone outside of the army. The important thing is to find people who you can lean on to get better.
In regards to religious practice, you should try your utmost to engage in prayer, supplication, reading the Qur'an, and connecting with good people around you, such as your family and friends.
These are all means by which the heart finds rest and ease. Use these practices to distract yourself from the troubles around you; don't spend your day and night thinking about your work and the distress you feel as this will only worsen the situation.
It may well be that you need to change aspects of your life in order to cope with these thoughts.
Your life is more valuable than a job or an occupation. As Muslims, we are taught that the lives of ourselves and others are inviolable and anything that seeks to challenge this has to be challenged in the appropriate manner.
Hopefully, by seeking professional help, leaning on the support of those around you, and turning to God, you will be able to overcome the problems you mention.
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani