Will I Be Sinful If I Break Up with My Boyfriend, Who I Swore Not to Leave?
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
I have a boyfriend, and we swore on the Quran not to leave each other. We plan to marry, but I feel anxious when I contact him and at peace when we don’t talk. If I break up with him, will I be sinful? What is the ruling on breaking an oath on the Quran?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question and seeking guidance.
You have been guided to feel at peace when you do not contact him. This is a good sign of your intention. You will not have broken the oath or be sinful if you break up with him. Swearing an oath by the Quran is not considered an oath. An oath needs to be by Allah (Most High) or His Names.
[Ibn ‘Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar; ‘Ala’uddin Ibn ‘Abidin, Al-Hadiyya al-‘Ala’iyya]
Love Allah First
Our number one priority is our Lord. He will never break our hearts or leave us, so put him back in control. Giving someone your heart in this way is human nature and happens. Abu Darda (Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Your love of something might render you blind and deaf.” [Abu Dawud]
If you intend to get married, consult your family first, and perform prayer to seek guidance (istikhara) and the prayer of need (haja). For this, see the links below, and ask Allah (Most High) to destine and make you incline what is good (khayr) for you.
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. In sha Allah, you will receive guidance and direction.
- How to Deal With a Breakup in a Haram Relationship?
- What Are the Words That Make an Oath Binding?
- Can One Swear by the Quran?
- Devil’s Tricks – The Path of Muhammad: Birgivi’s Manual of Taqwa Explained – Sh Faraz Rabbani – YouTube
- How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)? – SeekersGuidance
- Istikhara: The Prayer of Seeking Guidance – SeekersGuidance
- The Path of Muhammad: Birgivi’s Manual of Taqwa Explained – YouTube
- Purification of the Heart: Signs, Symptoms, and Cures of the Spiritual Diseases of the Heart: Hamza Yusuf: 9780985565909: Amazon.com: Books (Book)
Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersAcademy (seekersguidance.org), like from the Islamic Studies Curriculum (seekersguidance.org) or Youth Islamic Studies Curriculum (seekersguidance.org), building your way up doing each course?
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.
