Will Early Communication with a Potential Spouse Affect Future Marriage Blessings?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

I once wanted to speak privately with a brother I was interested in, but he kept our communication proper out of fear of Allah. Since then, we’ve only spoken halal to assess compatibility. I regret my earlier intention and feel ashamed. Am I sinful for that thought if I didn’t act on it? Will it affect the barakah of our future marriage?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for seeking guidance.

Your regret and shame are promising signs that your repentance has been accepted. One definition of repentance (tawba) is to keep the sin “between one’s eyes”—meaning, one does not forget it.

Sincere Repentance (Tawba Nasuh)

Imam Qurtubi notes several definitions of sincere repentance:

• Qatada’s words (Allah have mercy on him), “To be genuine and truthful in one’s repentance”, which is what Imam Bukhari chose as the definition of true repentance in his chapter heading.
• To have sincerity in one’s repentance.
• To be concerned about one’s repentance not being accepted.
• To be such that it does not need another repentance after it.
• To be made out of fear and hope, and be accompanied by consistency in worship.
• Like the fifth, but with the added condition that one deserts those who assisted one in sin.
• That one’s sin be between one’s eyes, that is, one does not forget it. [Qurtubi, Al-Jami Li-Ahkam al-Quran]

May Allah grant what is best for you in your search for a spouse and grant you success in all that pleases Him. Amin.

I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction, insha’Allah.

Related: Is It Permissible to Exchange Text Messages Before Marriage? – Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

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I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received a traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Currently, he resides in the UK with his wife and is interested in reading and gardening.