What Are My Financial Duties Toward My Parents and Sister?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question

My father became involved in a scam, neglected my mother and disabled sister financially, and is now seriously unwell.  I forgive him and want to support him, but my mother and sister have greater financial needs.

How do I balance my duty to my father with my mother’s and sister’s rights?

Answer

In the name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Ever-Merciful.

All praise belongs to Allah, Lord of all beings, and may peace and blessings be upon our master Muhammad.

May Allah give you ease and well-being. This is a very difficult test.

Allah has commanded us to be kind to both parents in a way that everyone would recognize as being good.

This is the explanation of the term ma’ruf in the Quran in this context. The Quran says, “We have commanded people to honor their parents.” [Quran, 29:08]

As for the injustice your father did to your mother, Allah will deal with that. If your mother forgives him, you should try to look past it as well. However, if your mother is in greater financial need, then do what you can to support her.

If you can periodically spare something to say to your father, do so. At this time, he might be more in need of your understanding and your compassion than finances. Try to reach out to him periodically and see what you can do to maintain that relationship as best you can.

It is a difficult situation, and Allah sees it. So now you’ll be rewarded tremendously, and perhaps Allah will facilitate the means for everyone to be cared for without difficulty.

May Allah grant you all the best of both worlds.

Allah knows best

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began studying Arabic Grammar and Morphology whilst studying for a degree in English and History. After graduating, He traveled to Damascus and studied Arabic, Hanafi Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, and Logic with Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahman Arjan al-Binsawi, Shaykh Husayn Darwish, Shaykh Muhammad Darwish, the late Shaykh Rashad Shams, and others. He then moved to Amman to continue his studies in those fields, as well as in Tafsir, Quranic Sciences, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Prophetic Biography, Prophetic Perfections and Traits, Rhetoric, Arabic Literature, and Tajwid. His teachers include Shaykh Ali Hani, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Dr Salah Abu al-Hajj, Dr Mansur Abu Zina, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Shaykh Ahmad Jammal, and others.