What If I Used Words Resembling Dhihar in Anger Without Intent?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

If I may have said words resembling dhihar in anger without knowing its rulings or intending it, is it considered valid, and what should I do?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.

Dhihar has not occurred, as you indicated; you may have used similar words. Therefore, you have doubts about the wording. Additionally, the husband’s intention will be considered rather than the context.

Illicit Comparison (Dhihar) is when a husband likens his wife to a woman who is permanently forbidden to him, such as his mother or sister. This can be expressed either about the whole body or a part of it.

For example, saying, “You are forbidden to me like my daughter,” or “You are to me like my mother’s back” (the back being used here to represent a part of the body).

Ruling of ِIllicit Comparision (Dhihar)

If a man says to his wife, “You are to me like my mother,” the ruling depends on his intention:

• If he intended to honor her (meaning he only meant respect and affection, not prohibition), then it is as he intended, and no legal consequences follow.
• If he intended Dhihar (declaring her unlawful to himself like his mother), it counts as Dhihar, which is prohibited and requires expiation (kaffara) before he can resume marital relations.
• If he intended divorce, it constitutes a final (irrevocable) divorce (Talaq Ba’in), meaning she does not remain his wife unless a new marriage contract is made.
• If he had no specific intention, then no legal consequences arise, as ambiguous words alone do not lead to divorce or Dhihar without intention. [Maydani, al-Lubab fi Sharh al-Kitab]

For a detailed explanation of Dhihar, please read the linked answers below.

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I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.