Can a Person Control Whom They Are Attracted To?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Can a person control their attraction and choose what they like, or is it based on feelings? Is labeling oneself to fit the homosexual community sinful? Should they identify as heterosexual instead?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I don’t believe a person can control who they are attracted to, but they can control their actions. As such, one should seek to do what is right in Islamic Law and exert patience with their true feelings.
Labels
Allah (Most High) has told us in the Quran, “And ˹remember˺ when Lot scolded ˹the men of˺ his people, ˹saying,˺ “Do you commit a shameful deed that no man has ever done before?” [Quran, 7:80]
It says in the Reliance of the Traveller:
p17.0 SODOMY AND LESBIANISM
p17.1 In more than one place in the Holy Koran, Allah recounts to us the story of Lot’s people, and how He destroyed them for their wicked practice. There is consensus among both Muslims and the followers of all other religions that sodomy is an enormity. It is even viler and uglier than adultery.
p17.2 Allah (Most High) says: “Do you approach the males of humanity, leaving the wives Allah has created for you? But you are a people who transgress.” [Quran, 26:165-66].
Labels
Proactively labeling oneself as homosexual is potentially sinful, even if one doesn’t act on it, and can bring more harm than good. I recommend avoiding labels altogether and proceeding through life seeking the pleasure of Allah (Most High) while sacrificing one’s wants, desires, and whims for His sake.
Please see these links as well:
- How Do I Reconcile Between Wanting To Live as a Homosexual and My Studies To Become a Muslim Scholar?
- What is the Reason for the Prohibition of Homosexuality?
- How Do I Address My Homosexual Feelings?
- Is Islam Homophobic?
- Tackling Homosexual Feelings: Supplication, Repentance, and Going Cold Turkey
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
