Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: I got married recently and my husband says he follows the Hanafi school of thought, hence he wants me to wear a black abaya. I do not live in a country that requires wearing an abaya. I wear loose fitted clothes with a hijab. Only my hands, feet and face can be seen. In this kind of situation, would you recommend I wear the abaya or not?
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for seeking clarity on this issue.
One of the cornerstones of a successful Islamic marriage is this – having sincere concern for your spouse. With that in mind, in order to preserve marital harmony, it is unwise for a person to force anything upon his/her spouse.
Please sit down and work through this as a team. Work on understanding each other’s point of view. Why does he want you to wear a black abaya? Living in the West, it is very possible to dress modestly without needing a black abaya, as you have described. Do the women in his family wear black abayas? Is this something he aspires for you? Consulting with your spouse is of the sunnah, and helps to foster love between the two of you.
As a Muslimah, it is praiseworthy to strive towards both outer and inner modesty. However, your highest intention must be for Allah. Being pressured into a choice yo do not want to make can harm the state of your heart, as well as your marriage.
I urge both of you to complete Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life to help you understand the spirit and the law behind a successful Islamic marriage. May Allah increase the tranquility and love in your marriage.
Please refer to the following link:
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani