Can I Seek Divorce in My Current Marriage Situation?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

I was persuaded to marry my cousin, but after three years, despite my efforts, I could not develop a love for him. Due to my feelings and lack of communication, I avoid intimacy with him, which I know is sinful. Can I seek khul‘ or divorce in this situation?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.

As you mentioned, you are in a three-year marriage, and despite your efforts to make it work, you are finding it difficult. If this is the case, you might want to talk to your parents and family members and ask them to speak to your husband about the possibility of a divorce. If he refuses, you can ask for khul‘, where you would return the marriage payment (mahr) you received and formally separate from him.

Jurists say if a husband and wife cannot fulfill their rights to each other, they should consider separation rather than sinning by violating each other’s rights. The husband should grant his wife a divorce in a principled manner. In cases where a wife seeks a divorce, she is not considered sinful. If the husband refuses to grant the divorce, the wife may pursue khul‘, which involves offering to repay her dowry in exchange for her release from the marriage.

[Ibn ‘Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

If the husband remains unwilling to grant the divorce, the woman may approach the local scholars who know Islamic judicial principles and request their assistance in annulling the marriage.

Allah (Most High) destine what is good for you. Pray istikhara for guidance and need on this issue and ask Allah (Most High) to destine what is good (khayr) for you.

I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. In sha Allah, you will receive guidance and direction.

Related

• What Is the Process of Asking Khul‘ from Husband
• Can Agreeing To Khula Result in Three Talaqs? – SeekersGuidance
• Is ‘Idda Necessary If Someone Had No Physical Contact with Her Husband and Currently Going through Khul‘?
• How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)? – SeekersGuidance
• Khul‘ Archives – SeekersGuidance
• Marriage and divorce Archives – SeekersGuidance

Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersAcademy (seekersguidance.org), like from the Islamic Studies Curriculum (seekersguidance.org), and building your way up doing each course?

I pray this helps with your question.

Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat 

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.