Doubtful Earnings for Nikah
Question: I met a brother via a matrimonial website. It later transpired that this brother is related to a sister I have known for years and I even had his number via work but had never met or spoken to him. I don’t want to tell my parents that I met him online but don’t wish to lie either. Can I withhold the fact that I met him online? Will this affect the validity of the nikah? I am also concerned about the permissibility of my earnings. If I spend it on my bridal clothing or beautification, will the nikah be valid? What if I spend it on a new phone to get to know him and plan the wedding? What implications will this have on the validity of the nikah? Borrowing money is difficult to pay back.
Thank you for your question. May Allah bless your marriage with this man and make it successful and happy.
Telling your parents
It is not necessary to tell your parents the truth of exactly how you met him, but it’s usually a good idea, to tell the truth. There is much barakah (blessings) in that and transparency is the key to trust in any relationship. If Allah wants this person for you, He will put ease in it, and your parents will not oppose it. If you want, you can invite over the sister that is related to him so she can vouch for him and tell your parents that you both are a good match.
Instead of having doubts about your earnings, you should ask a scholar and be sure about the permissibility of what you are doing. Certainty is the only way to either feel comfortable with what you are doing or to take steps to stop it and change your work. Please look into it and be sure that your earning is halal, or you will watch Allah’s blessings slip away from you and gain His displeasure. It’s never worth it to be in such a position no matter how much you are earning.
All of the scenarios that you mentioned in your question will not invalidate your marriage contract. Your nikah will be valid, but heed my advice about conforming to the shari`ah so that Allah accepts your worship and your du`as. If you don’t, your prayers may not be answered and what kind of family life would you have? See more details here:
May Allah bless your union and give you both the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.