My wife gave me three divorces


Question: I had married for love 7 years ago even though my family was against it. From the beginning, we had friction, but our relationship weathered the storms. Recently over a petty argument, my wife said she wishes to divorce me and said talaq 3 times at one go on Whatsapp. I would like to know if my marriage to her is still valid. Also, she’s a non-practicing Muslim and, despite all my efforts, refuses to pray. Is there a way to convince her? I can’t leave her as we have a young child and are too attached to live without her.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I am sorry that you are having such a hard time with your wife. I pray that you can reconcile with her for your daughter’s sake.

A valid divorce?

Your wife telling you that she has divorced you three times is not valid. Your marriage is still intact.

Non-practicing wife

It truly is heartbreaking to have a wife that does not pray or practice the religion. The best way to convince her is to gently encourage her and show her the fruits of your own Islamic practice. Try to find other young religious families that might spend time with you, your wife, and your daughter. Be the best Muslim that you can be, and guide your daughter to the same path. Ask Allah daily at tahajjud time to help improve your wife’s situation; by the grace of Allah, she will come around.

The most important thing that you can do is reconnect with her and bond with her. Once your bond is strong, religion will come; be patient. Be the best husband that you can be: help around the house, help with your daughter, be generous to them, take them out or go on holidays, spend quiet time together, read the Qur’an and pray in front of your daughter. Be kind to her parents.

Please see these links for more information:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/passionate-islam-wife-not/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/divorce-someone-stopped-practicing-islam/#

May Allah reward you for staying with your wife and trying to work everything out.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.