How to Share with My Parents about Secretly Wearing the Hijab?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I have been hiding my hijab from my whole family for over two years. Only my younger sister knows. My parents are Muslims but don’t believe in the hijab. Once they saw a picture of me with the hijab outside and they were devastated for days and begged me to remove it. So I did. Months later I started to wear it again without telling them. Can I continue like this and intend to not hurt my parents? Is it allowed? Am I a hypocrite?  I feel like one.

Answer

The situation you describe is not an easy one. May Allah Most High guide your family and accept what you are doing.

Hiding a hijab from your family is not a sustainable option. I recommend that you ease them into it slowly and firmly but politely tell them that this is your new way of life. Trust me, they will grow accustomed to it. Major changes are always a shock at first. Ask Allah to give you patience and to guide them. Never have bad character or anger towards them as they will tie the hijab to your bad behavior.  You could also print out articles or essays on hijab and show them so they understand your viewpoint of it.

Please see the links below for much more information on this topic. May Allah make it easy for you.

The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “There is never any obscenity in a thing, but it mars it, and there is never any modesty in a thing, but it adorns it.” [Ibn Majah]

Kindly see these articles:
My Non-Muslim Parents Get Upset When I Wear the Hijab
What Are the Requirements of Hijab?
How Do I Cope With My Parents’ Fear and Disapproval of Hijab?
Can I Obey My Parents If They Forbid Me to Wear the Hijab?

Hope this helps

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.