Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Last year I engaged in an online relationship with a girl from another city. We only met in real life once but it was only for a conversation. I recently broke up with her because I didn’t want to engage in it any further. I pray for her well-being and ask God for forgiveness. But I heard that if I hurt someone, they must forgive me in order for me to be forgiven. I also heard that because I wronged them by breaking up and hurting them, I will face worldly trials and difficulties because of my decisions. I’m extremely anxious and worried.
Thank you for your question. You have done the right thing and you don’t need to ask for her forgiveness. May Allah reward you for choosing the path to His good pleasure.
Obeying Allah is not something that would cause you worldly trials or problems. If you ended this illicit online relationship, then, on the contrary, Allah will reward you, by His grace, and has already favored you by making you prefer His good pleasure over disobedience. Repent sincerely, and don’t return to chatting with any girl again, until you decide to speak to someone for marriage. Please see here for details about sins and repentance:
What Are the Conditions of Making Tawba? (Transcript) – Ustadh Abdullah Misra
Sin, Forgiveness, and Repentance in Islam
Allah Most High says, “And keep in mind that Allah’s Messenger is ˹still˺ in your midst. If he were to yield to you in many matters, you would surely suffer ˹the consequences˺. But Allah has endeared faith to you, making it appealing in your hearts. And He has made disbelief, rebelliousness, and disobedience detestable to you. Those are the ones rightly guided.“ [Quran, 49:7] This verse reminded me of you. We ask Allah to always make corruption and disobedience hateful to us.
It is not necessary for you to seek her forgiveness. Rather, you should stay away from her, and delete her contact as she is not your mahram. You could tell her that you are doing this for the sake of Allah, and not for any other reason. That should make her feel better, and hopefully inspire her also to protect herself and not get close to anyone before marriage. Don’t worry about her too much as time will pass, and she will recover, and probably will be grateful for what you did.
Please see these links as well:
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.