Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question: Assalamu alaykum
My wife and I have issues; her father sides with her and doesn’t try to solve the problems between us. Unfortunately I said to her once, “I divorce you“. Then I forgave her and asked that she came back home. Her dad refused to let her return and he argued with my brothers whom I sent to bring her back home. Later I called him to ask why, and he said he was angry with me because I told my wife to come back before 8 pm. He kept yelling at me and he provoked me, so I said to him instantly with one phrase, “in fact since you are taking your daughter to be special, I divorce her thrice“. This is in addition to the first divorce from the other day. Am I still married?
Answer: Assalamu alaykum brother,
I am saddened to see that you were not able to reconcile with your wife especially since you tried to bring her back home.
First, I must inform you that when you divorced your wife for the first time, it was not permissible for her to leave her home. Her waiting period (`iddah) should have taken place in her home, where the divorce took place, and you should have left. “A woman in her waiting period is obliged to remain in the home (O: and neither the husband nor his family may force her out; nor may she leave. If the husband agrees to allow her to leave when there is no necessity, it is still not permissible). [The Reliance of the Traveller, p.569]
If this rule of shari`ah had been applied, you would not find yourself in this predicament. I only say this to demonstrate that you must take a course in personally obligatory Islamic knowledge, and an Islamic marriage course before you intertwine your life with someone else’s.
As for your proclamation of divorce, the words used were plain (not allusive) and with your explicitly stating “thrice“, the divorce has been finalized. You may not marry her again, unless she were to marry another and then end that marriage, first.
May Allah give you tawfiq and help you succeed with a happy family life. Please the links below for much more excellent information on the topic.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterwards, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.