Can I Lie to Get Out of Following Cultural Practices?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
My family pressures me to follow cultural practices that conflict with Islam. Is it permissible to lie to them so I can follow the religion properly?
Answer
Thank you for your question. You must understand lying to be the enormity that it is, and a sign of hypocrisy, and you must stand up for the truth. Lying will get you nowhere.
Lying
Believers who want to follow the religion properly, as you said, must uphold the quality of truthfulness, even if it hurts. Consider this important hadith: The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“It is obligatory for you to tell the truth, for the truth leads to virtue and virtue leads to Paradise, and the man who continues to speak the truth and endeavours to speak the truth is eventually recorded as truthful with Allah. And beware of telling a lie, for telling a lie leads to obscenity and obscenity leads to Hellfire, and the person who keeps telling lies and endeavours to tell a lie is recorded as an inveterate liar with Allah.” [Bukhari]
Stand Up
Lying will betray your family’s trust if they find out and cause bigger problems. Always seek a permissible solution that serves your needs.
Telling the truth is almost always the best option because people will know where you stand and stop asking you about it, and they might take you as a role model and practice properly themselves! Remember that family needs to get used to one of theirs becoming religious at first, eventually, they accept it and move on.
Dua
Please say this dua of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) regularly:
رَبِّ أَعِنِّي وَلاَ تُعِنْ عَلَىَّ وَانْصُرْنِي وَلاَ تَنْصُرْ عَلَىَّ وَامْكُرْ لِي وَلاَ تَمْكُرْ عَلَىَّ وَاهْدِنِي وَيَسِّرِ الْهُدَى لِي وَانْصُرْنِي عَلَى مَنْ بَغَى عَلَىَّ رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي لَكَ شَكَّارًا لَكَ ذَكَّارًا لَكَ رَهَّابًا لَكَ مُطِيعًا إِلَيْكَ مُخْبِتًا إِلَيْكَ أَوَّاهًا مُنِيبًا رَبِّ تَقَبَّلْ تَوْبَتِي وَاغْسِلْ حَوْبَتِي وَأَجِبْ دَعْوَتِي وَاهْدِ قَلْبِي وَسَدِّدْ لِسَانِي وَثَبِّتْ حُجَّتِي وَاسْلُلْ سَخِيمَةَ قَلْبِي
“O Lord! Help me and do not help others against me, support me and do not support others against me, plan for me and do not plan against me, guide me and make guidance easy for me, and help me against those who wrong me. O Lord! Make me grateful to You, make me remember You much, make me fearful of You, obedient to You, humble before You and turning to You. O Lord! Accept my repentance and wash away my sins, answer my supplication, guide my heart, make my tongue speak the truth, make my proof firm and remove resentment from my heart.” [Ibn Maja]
Please see more details here:
- What Is Considered a Lie?
- When Is Lying Permissible?
- Is Hiding the Full Truth Considered Lying?
- Can I Lie to Avoid Hurting a Friend?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied ‘aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
