How Should We Deal with Someone Who Deliberately Abandons Prayer?


Answered by Shaykh Bassem Itani

Question

We may encounter people who deliberately abandon prayer. How should we deal with them?

Answer

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and blessings and peace be upon our master Muhammad, his Family, and all his Companions.

The Widespread Issue of Abandoning Prayer

This issue is widespread among Muslims today, as we often see many Muslims abandoning prayer out of laziness or heedlessness. Given their presence in the Islamic community, it is essential to interact with them with kindness, gentle words, and good character.

It is not logical for the Islamic community to confront those who abandon prayer harshly, as neglecting prayer out of laziness is considered a major sin by the majority of Islamic scholars.

Many other major sins, such as widespread usury and fornication, are also prevalent in our time. If we were to clash and confront every person committing a major sin, our Islamic communities would be embroiled in intense conflicts and confrontations, leading to undesirable consequences.

Winning Hearts Through Kindness

Islam is built upon winning hearts towards love for the religion, love for prayer, love for acts of worship, love for the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), and love for the Sacred Law. Allah (Most High) says:

“He is the One Who has supported you with His help and with the believers. He brought their hearts together. Had you spent all the riches in the earth, you could not have united their hearts. But Allah has united them. Indeed, He is Almighty, All-Wise.” [Quran, 8:62-63]

Therefore, it is our duty to deal with those who abandon prayer and anyone who commits a major sin by softening their hearts towards prayer, worship, abandoning sin, and turning back to Allah (Most High). Through this approach, society moves towards fostering peace among people.

Treating Them With Gentleness and Wisdom

We should treat those who abandon prayer like any other Muslim, with gentleness, kindness, and good character. We should interact with them socially, such as through visiting, accepting gifts, and conducting financial transactions—whether buying, selling, renting, or otherwise.

If Allah instructs Muslims to treat non-believers who do not fight them in religion with kindness and justice, how much more so should this apply to dealings between Muslims, whether devout or sinful. Allah (Most High) says:

“Allah does not forbid you from dealing kindly and fairly with those who have neither fought nor driven you out of your homes. Surely Allah loves those who are fair.” [Quran, 60:8]

Therefore, it is even more important for Muslims to treat each other, whether pious or sinful, with kindness, goodness, and justice.

The Importance of Gentle Speech

When dealing with someone who abandons prayer, it is crucial to approach them with wisdom and kind advice. We should encourage them to maintain regular prayers, reminding them from time to time, without growing weary or frustrated.

It is important to emphasize the seriousness of abandoning prayer and that on the Day of Judgment, they will face a severe reckoning for neglecting it. We should also advise them using Quranic verses and prophetic traditions that warn against abandoning prayer and highlight the great rewards of establishing it. Allah (Most High) says:

“Invite (all) to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and kind advice, and only debate with them in the best manner. Surely your Lord (alone) knows best who has strayed from His Way and who is (rightly) guided.” [Quran, 16:125]

Using gentle speech and extending a helping hand with compassion can deeply impact many people, leading them to reconsider their actions, return to Allah (Most High), and resume their journey of worship through prayer.

The method of gentleness is a key characteristic of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), who taught us to use gentleness in all aspects of life. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“Gentleness is not found in anything but that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything but that it disfigures it.” [Muslim]

Showing Genuine Concern

When dealing with someone close to you, whether a relative, friend, or even a distant acquaintance, you may also express genuine concern for their well-being, speaking to them honestly and with love. Tell them you are sad for them and fear for their fate in the Hereafter, explaining that they may face punishment for abandoning prayer.

Showing such concern reflects care and love, as you seek to save them from torment. This method can be highly effective, as many people are deeply moved by such expressions of love and concern.

This approach aligns with the example of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), who was deeply compassionate towards his people. Allah (Most High) says:

“There certainly has come to you a messenger from among yourselves. He is concerned by your suffering, anxious for your well-being, and gracious and merciful to the believers.” [Quran, 9:128]

Praying for Them

One aspect often overlooked by some Muslims is the importance of praying for those who abandon prayer. It is not enough to advise them through various kind methods and to engage with them socially, financially, and ethically.

We must also pray for them in their absence, asking Allah (Most High) to guide their hearts and enlighten them to the importance of this act of worship, which is the pillar of faith, so that they may become among those who stand, bow, and prostrate in prayer. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“The supplication of a Muslim for his brother in his absence will certainly be answered. Every time he makes a supplication for good for his brother, the angel appointed for this particular task says: ‘Amin! May it be for you too’.” [Muslim]

[Shaykh] Bassem Itani

Shaykh Dr. Bassem Hussayn Itani was born in Beirut, Lebanon, in 1965. He earned his Ph.D. in Islamic Studies in 2005. Among his mentors were Shaykh Muhammad Taha Sukkar, Shaykh Adib al-Kallas, Shaykh Mulla Abdul ‘Alim al-Zinki, Shaykh Abdul Rahman al-Shaghouri, Shaykh Abdul Razzaq al-Halabi, Shaykh Dr. Mustafa Dib al-Bugha, Shaykh Dr. Wahba al-Zuhayli, Dr. Muhammad al-Zuhayli, and others, may Allah have mercy on them all.

Shaykh Itani has a rich background in both academic and administrative fields. He has held significant positions in many governmental and non-governmental institutions in Lebanon and abroad. This includes his role as a member of the Academic Committee at SeekersGuidance and a senior teacher with the free online global seminary.

From 2020 to 2021, he served as the Dean of the College of Da‘wa – University for Islamic Studies (Lebanon) – Postgraduate Studies. He was the Director of Dar Iqra for Islamic Sciences from 1998 to 2018. Shaykh Itani is a well-versed teacher in several academic subjects, including Fiqh, Usul, Aqida, and Tafsir. He has supervised and examined numerous Master’s and Doctoral theses at various universities and colleges in Lebanon.

His contributions to Islamic sciences are also evident in his writings and research. His notable works include “The Relied-upon Statements of Imam Zufar in the Hanafi School,” “Collective Ijtihad: The Sublimity of Thought in the 21st Century,” and “Custom and its Impact in Islamic Jurisprudence.” Shaykh Itani has actively participated in numerous scientific conferences and seminars, both in Lebanon and internationally. He is linguistically adept, excelling in Arabic, proficient in French, and comfortably conversant in English.