Should One Respect a Late Spouse’s Request Not To Marry After they Pass On?

Answered by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Question

I have a question that confuses me. Her husband asked Atiqa bint Zayd not to marry after he was martyred, and a year later, Umar told her to get married to him. I am curious how that reconciles with Abdullah ibn Abu Bakr’s worldly wishes and his wishes in the Hereafter. I am also curious as to why Umar married her.

This stems from a viewpoint: Will the jealousy we feel for our significant others not occur in Paradise? How will Abdullah feel about what happened after he passed away? I believe it is significant, as even the Prophet forbade his wives from remarrying after he died. How can a marital relationship be that significant in the Hereafter, considering that everything is superior to Dunya?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

May Allah alleviate our difficulties and guide us to what pleases Him. Amin.

Introduction

The story you mentioned involves complex human emotions, the social norms of the time, and Islamic legal principles. It is important to approach such matters with a deep sense of historical context and an understanding of Islamic teachings regarding life after death.

A Spouse’s Request

Firstly, it should be noted that a husband’s instruction to his wife not to marry after his death has no binding Islamic legal status. While it may express a natural human emotion of attachment and perhaps a concern for the welfare of the spouse or children, such a wish does not have any enforceable effect after one’s passing. A widow can remarry after her waiting period (‘idda) is over if she chooses.

Umar and Atiqa

As for Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) proposing marriage to Atiqa bint Zayd after the death of her husband Abdullah ibn Abu Bakr, it was his prerogative as a Muslim man to propose marriage to a Muslim woman who was not in her ‘idda and was otherwise eligible to marry. Umar (Allah be pleased with him) was known for his wisdom and sense of responsibility towards the community, and his proposal could have been motivated by considerations of protection and care for a widow, which was a commendable act in Islam.

Negative Emotions in the Afterlife

Jealousy and possessiveness are human feelings experienced in this worldly life. However, the Hereafter is a realm fundamentally different from this world’s life. Allah says: “And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other.” [Quran, 15:47]

This indicates that feelings of animosity or jealousy will be removed in Paradise.

We must remember that, in Paradise, the inhabitants will be in a state of complete bliss and contentment. Whatever concerns or attachments they had in this world will not cause them distress in the Hereafter. Allah will replace any potential feelings of discontent with complete satisfaction and joy.

Mothers of the Believers and the Prophet

When it comes to the Prophet Muhammad’s (Allah bless him and give him peace) wives not remarrying after his death, this was a specific ruling on them, honoring their unique status as the Mothers of the Believers (Ummahat al-Mu’minin), and it is not applied to other women in the Muslim community. [Ibn Kathir, Tafsir al-Quran al-Azim]

Life in The Hereafter

Finally, regarding the significance of marital relationships in the Hereafter, the relationships of love and kinship will be transformed and elevated in ways suitable for Paradise’s nature. The Quran indicates that relationships in Paradise will be pure and free from the negative aspects that may affect them in this life.

It is essential to approach these topics with the awareness that our understanding is limited to what has been revealed to us, and Allah’s wisdom encompasses all things. We believe whatever occurs in the Hereafter will be just, appropriate, and a source of complete joy for its inhabitants.

We ask Allah, the Most High, to grant us understanding and enter us into Paradise without reckoning. Amin.

And Allah knows best.

[Shaykh] Irshaad Sedick
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Irshaad Sedick was raised in South Africa in a traditional Muslim family. He graduated from Dar al-Ulum al-Arabiyyah al-Islamiyyah in Strand, Western Cape, under the guidance of the late world-renowned scholar Shaykh Taha Karaan (Allah have mercy on him), who taught there.

Shaykh Irshaad received Ijaza from many luminaries of the Islamic world, including Shaykh Taha Karaan, Shaykh Muhammad Awama, Shaykh Muhammad Hasan Hitu, and Mawlana Abdul Hafeez Makki, among others.

He is the author of the text “The Musnad of Ahmad ibn Hanbal: A Hujjah or not?” He has been the Director of the Discover Islam Center and, for 6 years, the Khatib of Masjid Ar-Rashideen, Mowbray, Cape Town.

Shaykh Irshaad has 15 years of teaching experience at some of Cape Town’s leading Islamic institutes. He is currently building an Islamic podcast, education, and media platform called ‘Isnad Academy’ and has completed his Master’s degree in the study of Islam at the University of Johannesburg. He has a keen interest in healthy Prophetic living and fitness.